LOVE by Ramadan Abu_Albarkah

On to the elders, I went to ask
About love, son you've brought a big task
They said to me, Love is nothing but a flask
And not a dam a little lad can bask

Love is the poetry of the senses
Entirely surrounded by expenses
Exists the inexistences
Complicated to all intelligences

It is an indomitable feelings no one could ever fathom
An invincible emotion that develops within an Atom
Love is but an affection that captivates the heart without demanding for a ransom
Neither Naira, Dollar, Euro nor som

A heart that lacks it is a dead among the living
A world without it Is worth leaving
It gives mutual feelings without one deceiving
The other, Something you feel high while receiving

But if we should talk with kindess,
It is the mixture of happiness and sadness
While with the right person it eases your hardness
But while with the opposite, it is nothing but darkness

Love is being happy and sad at the same time
Happy to have him, sad would it be for a lifetime?
Love is sticking to him even when he has no dime
And not liming with him only when he has lime

A soul without love is counted Zero
Such a soul is as hopeless as a Dero
A soul that knows how to handle it is called an Hero
Being with such a soul is sweeter than Cero

Now ask yourself, are YOU happy?
With your partner, is your relationship sappy?
Are You just being treated like a used nappy?
Or Like a little child gets spoilt by a caring pappy?

EVERYBODY DARES THE NEXT LUNGE: YOU TOO CAN DO IT AFRAID! by Mubassirah Bint Solih

There is always that voice at the back of your mind which tells you to not even “dare” to go beyond thinking about this particular thing you want to do, especially when it is a particularly new and intriguing idea. Quite many things contribute to making us doubt our ability in certain fields, and true, until and unless we actually “try”, we cannot know just how well (or how bad) we are at it. However, fear has always been a part of the human nature, in varying degrees.

We all have habits and hobbies, things we do without worries about the outcome or even the reaction it will get from others: that is because we have overcome the first phase of feeling nervous and anxious as regards whether or not we will be able to do it as well as we hope/believe, and we have gotten so used to doing it that it has now become “spontaneous” and “no big deal”. Everyone has some grounds they have either never walked on or “think” they will ever walk on, no matter how awesome they have gotten on every other ground. That is just normal as well; nobody ever wants to leave their comfort zone, and, it is always easier clutching an acquired trophy than fighting with others for a new one.

Challenges are however an integral part of life and living. Fear follows every challenge (for everybody), and that is just an indication of you being about to “extend” your limitations and set new records for yourself: we cannot grow without fear, since we cannot attempt new things without it. When we get too comfortable on certain couches and don’t ever want to get off it, it restricts us indefinitely, despite the fact that we keep wanting to try our hands on other things and see how it will go (it is just normal that we “feel” like trying something new: variety they say is the spice of life!). If you always feel too afraid to try out new things, and force yourself to believe that your present position is just perfect and okay for you, then, this is for you!

Ten Steps to Help You Do it Afraid
You have already identified a goal or objective which you would love to achieve, but, thanks to the fear factor, you always push it to the back of your mind with a “it’s not important anyway” or “I don’t want to be disappointed”, but, here is how you can set out “slow but steady” to eventually pull off that dream!

1. Identify your strengths: this is definitely the first thing to do, because, it gives you a beautiful insight into what resources you have available at your disposal (material or not). List out all of what would be required to bring your ideal into reality, and then, from the listed features and resources, tick out the ones you have in and with you. For instance, if you need a certain amount of money, a team member(s), set of machinery, honesty, commitment, great foresight, among others, and you have all of these things save the machinery (of course you know best what makes up your character and attributes, regardless of what the super-humble and fearful voice within you says; you may refer to your previous experiences to be especially factual and resolved on each stated point), then, you mark out all of what is on ground and rate each of their importance to your new endeavor.
This should already give you a level of confidence since you have factually assessed and analyzed your available potentials and resources; you should now have a feeling like “not too bad for a start”, yeah? You would normally have inclinations towards things you naturally have a degree of competence in, even if you have never tried “them” out before; so, at the very least, you wouldn’t be so stranded you will have “nothing” of the requirements.

2. Identify your fears: since identifying your strengths invariably leaves you with the recognition of your flaws, you have gotten clear on all practical and real points, and next, you need to identify your fears; bring them out in the open, free them from the limited space in your little head. Here, you answer the question: what exactly am I afraid of? What is the reason for that fear? What is the extent of that fear?
Upon bringing your fears to limelight, you can face them with shame, and have the courage of surmounting them. “If they are no longer lurking in your head, then, they have been scattered into bits to be gradually dissolved” never forget that quote.

3. Employ your fears: yes, this is just what comes next. Upon identifying your fears and acknowledging them, what you need to do is to challenge yourself on every point of fear you conceived. Employ your fears strategically, know what options are available to you when a step is taken (prepare for what the flip of the coin will bring; head or tail), and one after the other, your fears would then become your motivation towards achieving the great feat that you probably never dared believe you could ever make!
Employing your fears means making your fears work for you: they are being the drivers and the result of their drive will be their pay! Make up your mind to trust better in your identified strengths and “dare” yourself to succeed, keep those fears at both sides: when it goes well, say to the particular fear that has been overcome “oh, so you were this empty. Over to the next challenge!”, and when it goes not-too-well, say to the fear “you aren’t as bad as I imagined, I’ll be sure to deal with you better next time.” There you have it! Employ your fears reasonably, don’t overwhelm yourself with challenges; take everything a step at a time.

4. A risk a day: there is a popular quote that says successful people are those who take risks! Yes, with every single thing we invest in, we are taking risks (huge or little); the higher the expected return the greater the risk (usually), and, the more novel the endeavour the greater the risk (relatively). You have made up your mind to do it, so yes, do it! You can’t just jump off your comfort zone and expect to find immediate lasting solace; again, be reminded that it is a step at a time (Rome was not built in a day).
You have a goal, but, you shouldn’t set the bar too high for yourself, just how you shouldn’t allow yourself to get fixated at any stage (growing too comfortable with your achievement at that stage that you no longer feel interested, or maybe too afraid, to proceed to the next); do not let a day go by without you making new headways. Take a risk a day (or week, or month, depending on the goal and your laid down strategy towards actualization); just don’t let a day go by without some efforts getting invested.

5. Stay deaf to negativity: you definitely have enough fears and anxieties of your own to deal with, now is not the time to entertain negativity from the outside world; if they are not giving you the encouragement you need, then, let the opposite be unheard. It is appreciated that you have people around you who would offer their opinions and help you weigh matters correctly before you settle for a particular course of action, but, if you have made up your mind (or have hopes of doing so) and decided to expand your boundaries and exposure, then, you will be doing yourself a deserved good by not paying too much attention to negative aura; from strangers or known persons.
Anything or person trying to tell you that you cannot do it or you don’t deserve it or you are better off without stressing so much: whatever form the negativity vibes they are trying to rub off you is taking, stay deaf and blind to it! There is never a harm in trying something ”more” than your “usual”; it is either you win or you learn. So yes, go for it!

6. Be inspired: now, your inspiration is very crucial, you can hardly get anything done without being inspired towards actualizing it. Your inspiration can come from inside or outside; read some literature available on your proposed project (whatever it is), discuss with experienced people in the field, discuss with some really great friends who would improve your inspiration level, think about why you want to do this and understand what huge help it will be doing for you and others: what better way to be and stay inspired than to have a great understanding of what problems facing people you intend to solve by “risking” doing this “right”?

7. Feed your faith: spiritually and psychologically, your faith is not a factor that can be traded either ways! Be sure to keep your faith always rising; nothing happens except by the will of the Almighty, and nothing makes meaning except by your faith in your own self. Trust that your Lord will support you on this cause and make it a success, coupled with your own faith that He will aid you in letting your dream come to fruition.

8. Self-motivate: aside outside inspirations, your motivation is irreplaceable! The thoughts and attitudes of others may change at any point, but, your thoughts and attitude towards your own aspirations and their achievements shouldn’t! That is why you need to be self-motivated in the course of achieving any feat. Always have a “reason” that will keep you “focused” and “determined” in the face of any hindrance, so that you always have that to fall back on, regardless of what situation you are currently suffering.
This is yet another “strength” that would assist you in getting it done: the zeal that is really yours and propels you to keep “trying” until you “get it”.

9. Have a plan: yes, don’t just have it in your mind that you will get it done, and then calculate your steps and “assume” you will be able to follow it through that way. Make sure to have your plan well laid out! Organize the process you need to follow in strategic steps, prepare a plan-B in case of any eventualities, and, make your plan as detailed and realistic as possible.
Despite your fears, you need to be as calculative as you are optimistic! Don’t dive in blindly, go in fully prepared!

10. Hit the track: of course, you did not go through all of those steps just so you can take in a deep breath and say “yeah, okay, so, I can do it afraid too”, did you? Definitely not! You have mentally and materially prepared yourself for the task ahead, and, now is the time to get started on the job. Hit the track, make a go at it, get the ball running! The ball is definitely in your court; the journey of a thousand mile begins with a step, yeah? And, without that first step, there wouldn’t be any journey at all.
Never forget this beautiful quote as well: a noble idea, without action, is meaningless!
So, why not take that deep breath in and take the little (baby) step first?
You can do it afraid too!
Good luck!

THE WHEREABOUT by Daud Ismail Olakunle

If I went on without a trace, just
Stare at the lines on your palms. They
Would portray my foot print that passed
Through them like a storm and the breeze.

If I went on without a trace, just
Look at the rays of that sun. They
Would picture my hairs and how
They became thinner in the air.

If you perceive that I've lost on
This surface of your earth, check your
Heart. You would find me perching at
A corner reciting you hope and give a pat.

If I went on without a trace, just
Ask the eagle on the corn-tree of
A country that swallows the men's tears;
Soaking them in the pool of their fears.

It would clatter its haggard wings
And croak that I left myself behind,
Wallowing in the ocean of peace;
Preaching hell for their brutal deeds

If I went on without a trace. Ask
The eyes that stay bleak and dark. The
Mouths that remain mute and mumbled. The
Legs that stand still and stiffen. The bodies
That sound thud and numb. Their lies
That fake dreams and blur.

© D.O Isma'eel

DOUBLE STANDARDS: WHY YOU MAY BE WRONG IN YOUR JUDGEMENT by Mubassirah Bint Solih

We all seem to enjoy passing judgment on the conducts of other people, accusing them of either being fake or living with double standards. Oxford dictionary defines “double standard” as a rule or principle which is unfairly applied in different ways to different people or groups. Wikipedia defines it as the application of different sets of principles for situations that are, in principle, the same, and is often used to describe an advantage that is given to one party over another.

Applying different principles to similar-looking situations may or may not indicate a double standard. In order to distinguish between the application of a double-standard and the valid application of different standards towards circumstances that only appear to be the same, several factors must be examined. One is the sameness of those circumstances, philosophy or belief system. If correctly identified, a double standard is viewed negatively as it usually indicates the presence of hypocritical, biased and/or unfair attitudes leading to unjust behaviours (Wikipedia).

Principally, it is practically explained to be a situation where a person shows two different conflicting sides of himself (of speech, opinions, deeds, convictions, etc) to the public on the very same matter; judging something as legal when it involves a certain set of people and judging it as illegal when it involves another set of people. It may be simply termed as “hypocrisy” since it also involves being two-faced. You would normally expect that a person who preaches contentment and sincerity would never involve in shady money-making activities (such as yahoo and the likes of it), but, it will be a great rude shock to find out that these people who come out in the public and make us want to adopt the most decent and moral lifestyles end up being revealed to us (eventually) as people who live the most hideous of lives. 

While it may be true that it is quite easy to identify someone with double-standards and reproach them for such maladaptive behaviours, it is relatively difficult to be assured in our identification and judgment of them, due to a number of factors, of which change and personal weaknesses top the list.

CHANGE is said to be the only phenomenon in the world of man that is consistent, and as such, no living being is immune to it. In essence, as time advances and people get exposed to more experiences and facilities, they tend to alter their moral values and judgment to align with their current situation and circumstance. Thus, it cannot be easily assessed what convictions and values a person currently hold before indulging in activities we “have always known” contradict their personal standards and defy their life philosophies and principles. Your views and perceptions of something or someone may change; the more you increase in knowledge of a particular phenomenon or situation, the more your previous assertions seem to be wrong, and thus, you start to deflect: that cannot be said to be double standard of course. However, your intentional refusal to come out to proclaim the event of such change and/or denying its occurrence makes you portray yourself to the public as still firmly upon your previous assertions. In this case, you intentionally lead them to believe (and maybe even act upon) information you have realized is inaccurate, probably just to save your own face. The fact that your extrinsic behaviours do not match your intrinsic perceptions makes you guilty of double standard!

For instance, a person who used to lead a promiscuous life advocating for sexual purity and emotional commitment and fidelity in relationships would not be said to be having double-standards (as most people would love to immediately adjudge): the fact that a person “used to” do something does not take away their right to speak against such a thing when they have finally realized the evils there are in such endeavors. In fact, a person who has been through the dregs of a menace is in the most efficient position to talk against it, given the belief that “experience is the best teacher”. It is rather sad that people would rather gossip and say things such as: who is talking about sexual purity? That one? Ah, if you know how shameless she used to… I know her, she is just trying to conform to the societal norms and make people believe she has some elements of good too, she is the last person who is supposed to be opening her mouth to talk about sexual purity or any such! Such double-standards! (Once a thief always a thief, yeah?)

There are also cases of people who used to hold an opinion as correct but later deflected, then, we see them acting upon these newly adopted ideologies and assume they are being “untrue” to their beliefs and convictions, whereas, we are only ignorant of changes that have likely occurred to make them change their positions. As mentioned earlier though, if it involves a situation where the individual “should have” made proclamations of such changes in their positions and convictions but they intentionally did not, then, the conclusion we will draw is the opposite.

The second important factor I mentioned is PERSONAL WEAKNESS: nobody is perfect, we are all humans and it is only in our nature that we have flaws and shortcomings. We all (relatively) know what is acceptable and what is not, in our communal and individual lives, but, for some reasons, we all find ourselves indulging in some activities contrary to the “ideal” which we personally endorse too. Usually, we know that lying is bad and a sin in our religion (plus socially unacceptable), but, we have grown to internalize it as the world has continued to make it appear like something that is permissible, and hence, we have grown so used to it that we cannot imagine going a whole day without telling a lie; however little. There will always come a time when you realize that honesty is a virtue that should not be compromised for any reason, and so, you make a decision to always speak the truth, no matter how appealing and easy lying seems. Hence, you start to advice your friend and others against lying and vulgar speeches too. Definitely, change has happened and they have to look at you and ask if it’s really you saying that to them. Then, it happens that a particular event occurred where you “felt” compelled to “lie your way out”. Now, what comes of that? Of course, they will have to wonder “why lying is allowed for you but not them”, yeah, and that’s double-standards! What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, isn’t it? So, what makes it different in your instance?

We all battle some levels and forms of personal weaknesses, but, that shouldn’t stop us from preaching that which is ideal, should it? The fact that I’m still unable to arrive at that level of honesty that is ideal should discourage me from encouraging another to strive for it? Allah says in the Qur’an that the one who calls people to goodness without doing the same will be from among the people of hell: but, you will agree that there is a difference between someone who is merely rendering lip service and advocating all-round goodness that we need for a wonderful society just for the fame and so people wouldn’t pay much attention to the evils he perpetrates behind closed doors himself, and, that person who invites to good in hopes that it would further assist him in adopting the ideal lifestyle too, helping him to overcome the weaknesses of the flesh and live the admirable life he advocates too.

On a more subtle ground, I personally have this bad habit of using my right pinky finger to “settle” the itching in my nose or the accumulation of dust (and other external bodies) in there, which I definitely learnt in primary school is not socially acceptable (since we’re expected to get rid of filth of all kinds using our left hands), but till this moment, I still feel like my left hand just can’t “clean” it and cause me relief “enough”, so I still use that same finger my primary 6 class teacher rebuked me before the whole class for back then. Yeah, I know, that’s not such a nice thing to say about self, and it’s not like I’m actually proud of it of course, it’s just, you know, one of those things (as we say). And really, you wouldn’t tell me to not advise someone (anyone at all) against using the right hand to remove any form of “dirt” since that’s the social norm and dictate which I personally agree with, would you? So yeah, when you “unfortunately” catch me dipping my right finger in a nostril, would you say I’m being fake and living with a double-standard? 

Exactly! That is why we need to understand the importance of a person’s mindset and how well those “hidden” beliefs and convictions align with their outward behaviours and speeches, so that we know when some things are just habits born of compulsion which are difficult to change and avoid placing unfair judgments on their persons.

How Would we Know When Someone is Actually Living with Double-Standards?

It is true that we can only deal with that which is apparent as we cannot know what is hidden within every person’s heart, and as such, we can only make our value judgment based on what we see of a person’s speech and actions. However, it remains imperative upon us all to be very cautious in labeling people or thinking/speaking ill of them, as we would want people to accord us when we happen to be at the receiving end too: what goes around definitely comes around.

A teacher who would teach you in class and give you a note on the evils of examination malpractices but comes around to give you “chips” when you are writing your final exams lives with double-standards: it is wrong in theory but right in practice?

An organization which states in its constitution that all citizens are equal and everyone will be attended to on a basis of “first come first serve”, but would allow a rich man to jump a very long queue to get attended to “on arrival” does just that. Yes, that is exempting certain categories of people from an otherwise “general” rule: applying a rule unfairly to different groups of people and giving one group of people an undue advantage over the other.

A rule of queue proceeding in a hospital that allows a patient rushed in for emergency to immediately get attended to by the doctor cannot be said to be a manifestation of double-standards, on account of the patient’s severity of condition: this is a typical realization of the explanation provided above that “Applying different principles to similar-looking situations may or may not indicate a double standard.”

A married man who establishes strict laws guiding the conducts of his daughters to prevent them from leading wayward lives but goes about having illicit romantic and sexual relationships with young girls on sly: that’s double-standards! Aren’t those girls also some other persons’ daughters too?

Telling people it’s wrong to steal while you let me watch you sneak up on other’s properties without any bit of shame or remorseful conscience: that’s double-standards! What makes stealing different in practice and theory?

Confusing me as regards which to pick of your speech or deeds without making clarification as to what necessitates the deviations of your deeds from your speeches: that’s double-standards!

Making it a sin for a poor to legally win while you take pride in helping a rich steal his way to the trophy: that’s double-standards!

Jumping to conclusion when it comes to some certain people you “just don’t like” and lobbying for intangible excuses to exonerate some certain people you “prefer” is yet another manifestation of your double-standards! And yes, that is why you may be wrong in judging others as having double-standards: your very own shamefully shameless double-standards!

You hold people as guilty and convict them without fair hearing (or guiltless and acquainted for others) on certain ground rules, but, those rules no longer hold when it comes to you, your family, your friends, your bosses, your acquaintances, and other influential or significant others, and you display this distinction with no iota of restriction or shame. Such baseless discrimination and undue instability in your body of guiding principles is the real double-standards!

PLACES YOU SHOULDN'T GO IN YOUR HEAD by Mubassirah Bint Solih

It is not strange to hear that quite a larger percentage of the world population lives with some sorts of poor self-concept, where it is believed that you are someone who is less important and less dignified than any and every other person walking the surface of the earth. All of these things are products of going places we ought not to go in our heads.
It is your head and your haven, yes, but, there are some places in there that ought be left shut and kept sealed immediately your cursor starts navigating in their directions. It is okay to not know how it begins, but, once you realize you have started to open those compartments, call back yourself and retrieve the lock. Where are these places?
The major reason you see yourself as “less” than every other person, you know it? It is the same “comparison” that you assume you cannot avoid completely, and it is from the compartment that houses the most dangerous of self-destructive instruments! Yes, it is only one of the numerous compartments in your head, but, it really is from amongst the places you shouldn’t go in. When you realize the importance of keeping some compartments out-of-bounds, are able to work successfully towards actualizing that goal, you will invariably be able to explore the other compartments that house the essential ingredients for a self-fulfilled life.
Until you get to that point where you are able to stop yourself from comparing yourself to any other person, wishing for another person’s life instead of the one you are living, admiring others and debasing yourself, seeing yourself as a failure beside every other person you seem to ever come across: talk of “the grass appears greener at the other end”, whereas, it is only reality that the grass isn’t greener at the other end, no matter how farther you look; it is only a product of your perspective.

That place in your head where comparisons stem from, where low self-esteem stems from, where self-hate or blame stems from, where dissatisfaction with your life stems from, where ingratitude stems from, among other things that contribute to stopping you from believing in yourself and aiming for the maximal attainment of your potentials are places that should be sealed off completely!
How do you Ensure you don’t go to these Places in your Head?
We have established that there are indeed places you shouldn’t go in your head, but, we might as well admit that it is not a feat that can be achieved in just a moment of decision; it is a process that requires our active dedication and involvement. Hence, I will be discussing six of the most important measures to implement in sealing off those places:

Know Yourself: this is a no-brainer, right? The major reason you cannot stop comparing yourself to others is that you do not “know” who you are and what makes you “YOU”. Hence, it is essential that you give yourself the chance at this awesome first step to realize your strengths and weaknesses, your hobbies and talents, your flares and pitfalls; just study yourself to identify your own uniqueness. It is expected that when you know the essential qualities that make up your unique self, you are able to avoid going to those places in your head that make you feel as if you are “all bad” or “low” as compared with everyone else.

Forgive and Accept Yourself: upon knowing who you are, it is essential that you accept what you find of yourself; the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly. Wishing for some things to be different might be from among the worst thing you would be doing to yourself; while it is beautiful to seek to make necessary changes to make you better, it is even more important that you understand where the border stands in seeking improvement and sinking in self-disappointment. In the same vein, you need to forgive yourself for whatever you have done wrong previously, wrong decisions you have made for yourself; just let the ugly past go so that you can grasp the present in seeking a more fulfilling future. More than any other person, you need to forgive yourself and stop revisiting the chapters of your life where the flaws have become manifest to you and you have “changed”; this is from amongst what makes you assume that others have “clean” slates or at least “cleaner” slates as compared to yours, whereas, the only difference is that you know more about “you” than about “others”.
Do forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made and accept yourself moving forward.

Focus on your Strengths and Address your Weaknesses: identifying the places you fall short in might be a great discouragement, right? Especially when every other person around seem to find it relatively “normal” to just do those things you cannot do. Now, you do not have to do that to yourself: everybody has their own talents and potentials, and, as a popular author said “the fish will live its entire life believing it’s stupid if we expect it to fly whilst it can do extraordinary in swimming”. So, you see? You’re probably not giving yourself enough chance to identify your strength, or, you downplay the areas you’re awesome at because you feel the people around you don’t appreciate your own type of talent. It doesn’t have to be so, I say it again. You need to focus on your strength in building yourself and your self-esteem, you need to trust that you’ve got elements of greatness and can break boundaries too… then, you need to address your weaknesses and get better at them in order to further boost your confidence! That is just the way to it! And that is why I refer you back to the first point: know yourself and appreciate what you find!

Keep a Beautiful Circle of Friends: this might come off as rather unnecessary, but, we all know that the times you have to explore those places in your head are especially those times you have to yourself, right? We are social animals and can never overemphasize the importance of friends and significant others in our individual lives. Here, I will emphasize that you make sure to keep friends who see greatness in you and believe in you, even when you don’t seem to believe in yourself, friends who would motivate you towards greatness, friends who would “force” you to stretch limits and reach for your true potentials, friends who would accept and appreciate you for who you really are.
Many of us get it wrong when it comes to choosing friends, well, because we failed in knowing our own selves and end up mixing with just about anybody who comes around with an offer of friendship. Now is the time to reconsider all of those whom you have around and see which and how many of them are really deserving of being called your friend: who cares about you enough to realize things about you that you don’t even tell them? Who cares about you enough to pick up a form in your name and dare you to not win, simply because they believe in the potentials that even you don’t see in yourself? Who cares enough about you to remain with you in your lowest moments and listen to you express yourself in rambles and breaks without pushing you for more details or judging your any wrong or mistake?
Do you have the kinds of friends who would ensure you keep open only those compartments in your head that will help your growth and developments, whilst making you rarely, if at all, go to those places that need to be shut off? Now is the time to make sure you roll with the right crowd!

Accept and Appreciate Compliments: it might be funny, but no, many of us find it rather difficult to accept compliments, and instead, we would rather believe these people are actually flattering or buttering us up. You know for yourself that it is true; how can you accept someone calling you great when you see yourself as the lowest of the lowest? Again, point one remains very essential in helping us to know our onions. Calm down and relax when someone throws a compliment your way, don’t just start going places in your head about how “anyone” would have done “better” than you did: the sky is wide enough for every bird to maintain their individuality, right? So, yes, the earth is wide enough for every one of us to maintain our individuality and do our own “best” in our various personal spheres. So, next time someone throws you a compliment, take it in, smile and appreciate it: it will really go a long way in making you believe you are really “capable”, and, you are encouraged to do better next time.

Have a Realistic Goal: finally, yeah? This will be a product of every other thing put in place; considering your interests, attitude, aptitude, talents, hobbies, likes, and dislikes, set an attainable goal for yourself. This will serve to give you a sense of direction and purpose in life, a sense of authority in your life, and a motivation to meaningful achievements. Having a realistic goal helps you to maximally plan your activities to make the most out of your time and resources, and as such, you tend to subconsciously seal out the doors that lead to those places you shouldn’t go in your head.
This should help you live better without the consistent nagging at the back of your mind from the insecurity that results from wandering through those places... try them out and welcome awesome changes in your psychological processes and emotional maturity.

5 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE by Mubassirah Bint Solih

It is unarguable that we all have some unpleasant things we condone in our lives, for and about ourselves as well as other people around us; despite knowing they are not good for us, we still go ahead to keep them nonetheless. It is true that some things should be managed and endured for us to help ourselves and others, but, there are definitely some things that should never have a place in our lives.
Here is a list of five things you should never have in your life:

Self-Doubt: this definitely tops the list as it remains the most dangerous of self-destructive tools, and hence, should never be condoned in any form. Self-doubt is a phenomenon that refers to the crazy thump in your chest, the nag in your head, the anxiety in your being, and all else that questions your ability to carry out a particular endeavour, and yes, it emanates from the self. Self-doubt is one of those things you don’t deserve and should never have, because, it remains the root of failure and dissatisfaction: no matter how far you go, you will never see the good in yourself, and, no matter how much people believe in you, you will never believe in yourself, and so, you will never feel the joy of fulfillment or have the courage to ever take on great steps.
Have you ever heard the line: whatever it is, don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you do not deserve what you want? If you have never, now you have, and, that is telling you in plain terms to always go for what you want, no matter how “big” you think it is; if you can do the work, you can have the pay! Also, remember that “whatever you can see in your mind, you can have in your hands”, so, now you know you can shoot for the moon, right?
Don’t just shoot though, believe you can really get there! That is the whole essence of this: strip yourself of those nagging demons that rise everywhere in your head whenever you set out on a beautiful course, take them far away from you for they don’t have a place in your life… trust and believe in yourself!

Self-Blame: this is yet another destructive instrument that should never have a place in your life, and still, many of us are unable to find our ways around it. First off, know that you are only human and as such, are liable to making mistakes, like any and everyone else. Everyone you see has done some things in the past that they wish they either hadn’t done at all or done the way they did it, made some choices they wish could be undone, gone places they wish they never went… the list is endless as to the extent of the unavoidability of making some wrong decisions as humans: I tell you again, it is perfectly normal!
Self-blame forces you to wallow in regrets with all the accusatory daggers pointing at just you as responsible for your own misery, and, it makes you feel like you do not deserve forgiveness or any good: does that ring a bell with you?
If it does, then, you definitely know it is not something that should be allowed to stay with you, in any form at all. You should always be willing to take responsibility for whatever wrongs you commit, but, that should be all; never more! Taking responsibility for your fault is admitting that you are wrong and taking steps towards redemption: but, self-blame only keeps you feeling guilty and evil, ensuring you always feel bad about yourself and never attempt to reach for your dreams again; which is very unfair to you, right?
The point here is FORGIVENESS! Forgive yourself for all the bad you’ve committed, forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made, forgive yourself for all the imperfections you’ve gathered over the years, forgive yourself for all the points where your stick falls short, forgive yourself for all the emotions you’ve wasted on people who never returned them, forgive yourself for all the time you’ve wasted, forgive yourself for everything, for only then will you be able to really move on and away from the clutches of the shadows of the past, only then will you be able to see the good in you and seek to bless the world with its manifestations.
You were wrong, but, you are not evil… never forget that!

Unattainable Goals: it is beautiful to dream high and beautiful, and, it is very much encouraged. However, there is a limit to everything: remember you’re only human and can only do just as much you can do.
Your goals should be set based on your abilities, interests, passion, aptitude, attitude, and values; all of these combine to help you set realistic and self-motivating goals, as much as you want. Otherwise, you set the bar too high for yourself, chasing dreams way out of your league, and having goals that are not attainable for your person. This is usually a product of inadequate knowledge of self, coupled with overwhelming feeling of envy for others, pressure from family and significant others, prejudice of the society towards certain professions and goals, among others: you set your standards based on the perceptions and achievements of others, neglecting the most important element in the actualization of your set goals; which is YOU.
The outcome of having unachievable goals do not need to be listed, we all know the feeling of emptiness and worthlessness that comes with “failure”, whether or not it was deserved or not. Yes, I stated earlier that you deserve whatever it is that you want and are ready to work for, and, this is not negating that in any way, it is only adding a key factor, which is “adequate knowledge of self” in setting the bar for yourself.
Many students dream of being medical doctors, and that is really beautiful and achievable, but, you will agree with me that it needs to come with the right prerequisites: a student who gets scared at the sight of blood would never do well as a medical student, would he? Just as a student who hates mathematics and knows he is deficient in it should never dream of being an accountant, and, a student who is naturally quiet and lacks vigour to argue his points in the face of opposition should not dream of being a lawyer… does that clarify the point for us? It is not saying to not dream big, it is saying to dream big as appropriate for you!
This point would leave us yet again with the saying: the fish would live its entire life believing it is stupid if its ability is tested with flying instead of swimming: know your potentials and seek to maximally harness them correctly! Don’t set your trap wrong and then blame its inability to catch the right animals on something else: set it right!

Unhealthy Competition: now, this is yet another major setback that many of us have found ourselves fully immersed in, which should never have been in our lives at all. Competitions are healthy when they push you towards betterment, and they become unhealthy when they push you towards hate and insecurity.
It is always beautiful to put yourself beside others and see how you measure up, so that you can identify what makes them better and you can improve yourself, for yourself. However, the world has gone far away from that, and competitions now work to only incite rage against your “rivals” and insecurity about your own footings: this should never be allowed to settle, and, if it already has, now is the time to discard it!
Life is not about who is better at it, it shouldn’t be, life is supposed to be about what ways you can contribute to make things better for yourself and others, and, that would allow everybody the freedom to contribute their own best in their different unique ways. This is to tell you to stop comparing yourself to others in order to find accomplishment; do what you enjoy doing and always improve yourself in it! Find joy in giving what you can rather than in giving what another person cannot: we have different gifts and potentials, and, we should be allowed to explore our individuality maximally.
Unhealthy competition hinders growth, and, it should never have a place in your beautiful life; okay?
Even if no other person sees it, you are great in your own sphere, so long as it gives you gladness and contentment!

Toxic Relationships: this does not refer only to relationships where your life is threatened, it refers to any and every relationship that does not allow you the freedom to be the best you can be; psychologically, socially, emotionally, academically, vocationally, and even physically. Toxic relationships are usually results of our willingness to accept and adore anyone at all who offers us friendship, whether or not our views on life and dreams align or not: we do not know the importance of companionship, and so, we allow anybody in.
This is not to say that you should not appreciate everybody who is willing to be your friend, of course, it is saying that you should know the limits to set with every single one of them, depending on how compatible you are on different levels. On the other end of the same branch, this is to tell you that you deserve every good life has got to offer, and even though you wouldn’t be taking anyone for granted, you should never feel as though a particular person’s presence in your life is a favour or a sacrifice on their part, which would then force you to always be willing to do anything to keep them: that is unfair to your good nature, and, you should not do it!
Toxic relationships should not have a place in your life, you should never keep them no matter what! This point emphasizes your ASSERTIVENESS! You should never be forced to say “YES” when you have to say “NO”; be bold enough to stand for yourself how and when you should. If there is a friend you have who never encourages your dream, motivate you towards getting better, compliment your good nature, runs you down in public or private, belittles your sacrifices and accomplishments, tells you to not go after what you want for they believe you cannot get it: you know a bad friend when you see one, and, you should love yourself enough to put garbage in its rightful place; no offense.
You have enough anxiety and insecurity to deal with on your own, and, the people around you should never be compounding that: they would like you to view things from the many possible perspectives, and that’s okay, but, you can tell the difference when someone is telling you “be wise” as advice and “be wise” as insult. This requires some level of maturity too, to know when you should leave the table where respect is no longer being served. No matter who they are, no matter how high and mighty they are, they have no business running you down if they are indeed who you think they are to you.
Get it straight and set it right.
These five things should definitely have no place in your life, and, if you are already accommodating them, for your own good and sanity, show them to their rightful place.

Mubassirah Bint Solih

THE LINES ON THE PALMS OF MY HAND by Mubassirah Bint Solih

It all starts with the quest for freedom, not the freedom of the liberal world, but, the freedom from the liberal world and all of its throngs.
The shadows of our past won’t stop haunting us, in our chase of the golden light and the bounties that accompany it, weighing down on our souls and making the flight as slow as possible. It is strange, they say, that we run away from that which every other person chases in blind infatuation. If only they know what we know…
Nobody feels what we feel, and we suffer the abandonment and persecutions from family, friends, and acquaintances, all because we run away from that which we have stayed bounded to all the previous years of our lives, which is the slavery that we once thought was ultimate liberation, like those who seek to get us back into the darkness our Lord has saved us from.

The ugliness and scare that the darkness brings with it, erasing the lines we draw courage from in the time of great distress and confusion, to remind us of the most important fact our lives are based on: what did we learn from going about with you all day long? There is nothing you can get done in this world without using the hands after all, even those moments when the devil creeps up and tells you to consider grave ills and commit horrible injustice against your own soul… it gets too hard and you contemplate suicide?
They told me that the lines on our palms came with us into the world and we know not how it got there… I know I was created to live for a purpose, to serve a great cause, to fulfill a mighty mission, and, the world threw me in the middle to shed all of the safety I was initially forced to get clad in like a shell. The world isn’t for the meek, they say, and the powerless get naught save more hardships and sufferings. It is our world, and we’re in with the bones and flesh in our heads.

Raise up your palms and stare deeply at them, see between those lines that stand prominent and stare back at you without fear, and be sure what you pick of lessons from your sufferings.
The people of the world can get your mind shackled alongside your wrists, restricting your movements and pinning you to a spot, against your will and volition. The freedom you seek is different from the one they know, it is different from the one that cares only about the physical and abandons the soul, it is different from the one that prides in taking up long outdated primitive manners and painting it as “civilization”, it is different from the one that disrespects its adherents and fools them into thinking it’s utmost respect, it is different from the one which limits our worries to the frivolities of the temporal world, it is different from the one with ever changing values and respectable criteria, it is different in entirety, and so it is strange to the world. The seamless differences give rise to the uproar against your lowly entity, whilst their wish is to get you back “on track”. If only they know what you know.

They batter our bodies and souls, in order to discourage us from seeking that light He has blessed our hearts to identify in the horrible darkness, like we’re criminals who stole from their harvests, because, they feel incapable of understanding the truth that we present and submit to. Within and around us, adversaries abound, seeking to drag us down to get us crashing in flames. The people of ignorance and arrogance, the unfinished businesses we left over, the unresolved baggage that haunt from our ugly pasts… they all call to us to get down from the ladder of beautiful guidance that has been adorned with unbecoming girdles. They seek to “help” us get away from what has “brainwashed” us, but, they know that we should be responsible for calling them back to the truth that the Dunya is only but a life of deception.

You are misunderstood and judged wrongly by acquaintances, for speaking your mind or keeping it to yourself, and, now, you hate that nobody understands you or share your sentiments. You are mocked for some nature defects which are in no way your fault and cannot be changed by you, and it hurts that what everyone sees is that ugliness that makes wish you had a different life. You are gossiped for some compromising situation you were forced in or some skeletons long hidden behind the closet which you have no way of getting rid of, and it hurts terribly that none of those who mean the world to you could stand up for you. You are unable to get a source of livelihood despite your endless efforts and hope, and it hurts now because your hope is starting to wane in the face of mockery and disrespect from all around. You are unable to get married, and it hurts that you feel as though you’re the one with the most pathetic case… life problems are endless after all.

We let ourselves get fooled like we don’t see those lines on our palms… all of the victimization has now ended, giving rise to scars that will never get erased. The sufferings of the world can go on for as long as time exists, but, we know that it is definitely going to end someday, if we don’t die before that time. Every battle is hard, every struggle is difficult, but, what would be the prize for the price paid in remaining steadfast in that battle? Would you be proud that you let the scars scare you from moving ahead in the truth your Lord had helped you realize? Would you submit to the demons that present your sordid past to you like it’s permanently registered in your records and the world and her people will never forgive you for it? Would you let yourself be subdued by the whispers of the Accursed who seeks only to turn you away from the way of your Lord and His pleasure? Would you end the fierce battle and betray the strength with which your gallantness fought through this whole time by losing to your own Nafs? Would you let it all go down the drain by despairing in the mercy of your Lord? Would you allow the Shaytan to win this battle against you by making suicide appeal to you like an escape from the endless pains and sufferings?
You are a believer, you are human… you get tired, you get drained… you wish the end will come soon, you wish you didn’t have so many skeletons hidden in the cover of the past…  you hear the mockery of the people who “know” of those ugly things, you bear the taunts of the haters of the light you have been blessed with… that is all just fine and normal, but, I ask you to remember that Allah forbid us from taking any soul unjustly, and that includes our own individual lives.

It may be hard to talk to people about those secret innermost feelings, afraid that they may not understand or even judge you for being weak and “not up to the faith you portray”, but, you know, we all go through those times when it gets too hard and we consider giving up; so, quit thinking you’re being an hypocrite for feeling “fed up” and wanting it all to end, stop forcing yourself to appear ideally holy to the world; it’s not worth it!
When it gets real hard, look over the scars you’ve accumulated over the years, think over the sufferings you have endured over the years, look over the memories you’ve made over the years… there’s a part of you that always heals up, leaving no scars, no matter what. You know where?
It’s those lines on the palms of your hands!
No matter how much blisters they accumulate, however deep they are cut, the lines of your palms return without alterations, leaving no sign for remembrance.

I got a gash from a broken glass when I was little, which was as a result of trying to go down with my palms instead of other parts in a fall (so, you can imagine how deep?) My thumb barely remained, and I had to hold it in place with my other hand. Like every other body part, I thought it would leave a permanent scar. However, I was surprised to notice that there was not a single mark left, and I can’t even tell which of the two palms got cut now, after over 15 years at the least. Funny I never monitored its healing? Well, what do kids care when they are able to return to their plays? And, how did I even get to notice this?
It was one of those gloomy days, and, I remembered one of the days I had been deeply hurt and scared, in order to gain some comfort in the knowledge that “this too will pass”, but then, I got the surprise instead. I looked at both hands and couldn’t find a difference; the lines of my palms were intact! I then looked deeply at the both of them and took a deep sigh. You know what I learnt in that single moment?
“This part of me can heal and leave no scar without any effort on my part, so, the world would pass without leaving any trail, and, we will leave the world like we never existed either. The pains you are living through now will pass and you can live without shadows of the past, if only you will give it as much time as it needs!” I realized that in a single moment, from the lines of my palms.

The scars that reflect our strength can thrive on any part of us but not our palms, a part of us we use (maybe) more than every other, and, that is a lesson for you and me, that the life of this world is nothing but delusions and play, that the heart of a believer is gladdened at the tests of his Lord, that the pains we complain of now will be forgotten at some point, that the aches we feel now are going to be left either in our past (when we survive) or in the world (when we don’t survive), so that the pains are no longer felt as exactly as they felt at the moment.

The lines on the palms of your hands go through more sufferings, but still, they don’t go anywhere! If they can keep thriving to remain with you, why will you think of using those same hands to hurt yourself because you feel it’s gotten too difficult for you to bear? Wouldn’t you rather share this lesson with me and always remind yourself that “just as the cuts made on the palms heal without scars, the problems you are facing will pass without ruining you”, uh? In your quest for freedom, the freedom that the liberal world cannot give you, appreciate the perseverance of the lines on the palms of your hands and keep trusting your Lord.
Allah says to seek help in patience and prayers, He has told us to maintain a beautiful patience… He has informed us that we wouldn’t be left alone just because we believe, and so, a believer remains patient and steadfast with perseverance…
Indeed, in every creation of Allah, there are wondrous lessons to be learnt. May Allah continue to ease our affairs and grant us beneficial Sabr: Aameen.

MOTHER; AN HEAVENLY TITLE! by AbdulGaffar Muhammed

Mother, an heavenly title!
The general canoe that must be jointly paddle
For Almighty Allah named after them a Surah (1)
A decent woman must cover her Aorah (2)

Mother, an highly praised position!
Must be perfectly constructed for her upcoming generation
Even the Jannah lies under her feet
A bonus every children should meet

Mother, a sacrificial name!
Gave all what she possess and swallow her fame
She is entitled to special honours
"Your mother then your mother" said, the noble one

Mother, a significant role!
Expected of her to be of strong pole
She should stand as a societal reconstruction
Build a woman and you find yourself building a Nation

Mother, an unshakable personnel!
A pleasant pillow fragile like an egg
She's the tower of power on thy mean marrow
Brighter than the sun, stars and shadow.

–––––––————
1. Suratul Nissah
2. Nakedness

May Almighty Allah bless our Mothers
And make them habitants of the Jannah

WHAT WE MISS by Mubassirah Bint Solih

It is rather funny how we actually grow up with “memorized” beliefs about God which we never internalized or “believed”; we miss the most essential part of our faith without realizing.
Have you ever sat to ponder on the reason you’re Muslim instead of an adherent of any other faith? Have you ever sat to ponder on the reason you have to pray five times daily in the name of worship? Have you ever, at any point in time, considered crossing carpets?

If you have never, I wouldn’t know if I should say congratulations or otherwise.
You see, I was in a group training last night, it was on a very common entrepreneurial skill, and it was handled by a Christian (it was offered for free by her actually). There was no mention of faith or spirituality through the length of the training, but, as we draw to the end of the stipulated month for which the training was promised to run through, she sent to us a “great gift” in form of a video where she “called” every member on the group to accept “Christ” as their personal Lord and Savior “for there is no salvation anywhere but there”.
That might not really ring a bell to many of us, but, if it does to you, ma shaa Allah. You see, a lot of things crossed my mind as I watched that video last night, and, from the many emotions that flitted through were anger and disappointment.
Allah says in the Qur’an that the disbelievers would never be pleased with us until they turn us to their way, and, we continue to confirm it in our daily experiences, yet, we see Muslims who keep disbelievers as close friends, while, a large unexpected number of believers even dote on staunch disbelievers: we ask Allah to guide us and help us to submit to the truth upon realization, Aameen.

It is not hidden to anyone how “bold” this people are in inviting unto the way they believe is right, whilst we who are upon true guidance remain “cowardly” and watch them spread the message, and worse, it causes doubt in the minds and heads of some servants of Allah, making them doubt the originality of Islam, walyazhubiLlah, before some will finally apostate.

Remember, Allah says in Q5:3, "This day, I have perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion".
There are people who would remain in Islam out of fear of their families, whilst bearing no belief whatsoever in the faith they proclaim as Muslims: what is the point in praying five times daily every single waking day of your life? What is the point in being a servant when you can honourably be called a child of God? These are questions that the mind of every Muslim seeks answers to, and, it is the responsibility of every parent to ensure the answer is boldly and pleasantly engraved in their minds before they are even exposed to the world.

When you listen to this people, by Allah, and you are not rooted in your faith and conviction, the walls of your resistance will shake from the very roots. Unless you absolutely know your onions, you cannot escape the foundations of doubt and endless questioning this sort of speech will have on your soul: how many of our children are raised to know right from wrong? How many of us were told how this is different from that? How many of us were made to “understand” our faith and not just “follow” our parents in what we see them do or hear them say, even when our minds question the unquestionable?

Truly, the religion with Allah is Islam (Q3:19).
I was there too, some many years ago, through my JSS3 and part of SS1. Being the lazy person that I am, my father used to have to force us to pray Fajr Solah (the dawn prayer) before we leave home for school, and for me especially, it was always after I had gotten dressed for school. He would just ask: have you prayed? And, by Allah, we were anything else but liars, so, I would begrudgingly say “no” and get a few insults before returning inside to pray it “how I know to”. Now, these preachers came to my school and said their things, and, at the end of it, they gave bibles to everyone of us. It made sense to me that I wouldn’t have an obligation towards praying anymore after all… I started going to Church and reading my bible (without the knowledge of anybody in my family), and, I got to the point where I shouted “blood of Jesus” whenever I got scared. I started loving the simplicity in the religion: singing and dancing are fun and not work; I loved the Bible for it was written in English and I could understand without having to seek the help of an extra book (we had only one translated Qur’an in my house, and it was very big actually; not like anybody ever read the Qur’an anyway). I thought I had finally found my path and was going to live for Christ, but, as always, I had no courage to confront my family with the “truth”.

I was reading from a passage in the bible one day when my father stormed into my room, annoyed at the fact that he had been calling me for a while without getting a response… long story cut short, my bible got seized that day, and, I was warned to be careful since the Qur’an was there turning dusty with nobody paying any mind to it. “No son of my father will desert Islam and remain one of us” I got that fact clear that day, but, it only went to strengthen my resolve to pursue the “truth” against all odds, as it was promised that people will always rise against you when you stand for the truth. I prayed for the Lord’s guidance upon my family, and especially upon my father.
Hmmm… I did hide and seek Christianity for over a year, pursuing the path of the Lord and increasing my understanding of the Bible… then, came that day I almost lost my life and the truth got really clear to me…
It remains one of the worst memories I’ve got: I was going to visit a friend on my way back from school (without heading home first) when I got accosted by some guy who didn’t look anything short of normal. At first, it felt funny, but, as time went by and he wouldn’t stop blocking my way, I realized I was very much in trouble. A few people passed, but, none took interest in inquiring what was going on, much less asking him to let him go. He took out a knife and was going to do things (I used to be particularly stubborn in relating with the male species, but, on this day, I knew I stood no chance); he made me kneel first, and then he made very stupid threats as he did some more stupid things. I called on Jesus till I got tired as he only got angrier and worse, then, I knew within myself that I was just fooling myself; something was definitely not right with me calling on Jesus when I used to worship the God that sent him. I resorted to begging Allah to save my life and not let him do anything to me (I was around 15/16 at the time), and, as Allah will have it, a woman came by and went to him. Then, he eventually agreed to let me go for her sake, after several minutes of plea. God, how I sighed. He left and the woman asked me how I could anger such a notorious cultist, I could only thank her and promise to never insult any man again. Lol… I turned on my heels and headed home immediately, and, that day, I “really” prayed, I observed Solah and really felt it.

I started reading my Qur’an and was able to appreciate the real truth… not everybody gets so lucky, right?  Allah could have chosen to save me then and let me continue to believe there was power in the blood of Jesus that was never even shed in the first place!

WaLlah, we need to really educate our children on their faith, they need to “know” with proofs and evidences instead of the rote style we were raised with: let them be able to answer any question the Shaytan may raise in their minds about the Almighty, about heaven, about their ‘ibaadah, about the religion in entiret; let them know their onions for real… may Allah not make us disbelieve after we have disbelieved: Aameen.
For those of us who have already grown: know, may Allah bless you, there is no doubt in the salvation of this Deen, and there is no doubt in the knowledge that only Islam connects you to the One True God and Creator, and as such, remains the only way by which you will earn His mercy and gain His pleasure. The only way to get yourself rooted is to increase yourself in the knowledge of this Deen, surround yourself with righteous people, and, never “test” waters with your faith by saying you can resist a preacher from the stray people, as the Shaytan wants nothing more than leading you away from the mercy of your Lord, and he will achieve that by no other means than by planting doubts into your mind through what goes into your ears. "And whoever seeks a religion other than Islam, it will never be accepted of him, and in the hereafter, he will be one of the losers." Q3:85.

May Allah guide us to the right path, the path of those whom He is pleased with and not those upon who is His anger and those who are astray: Aameen.

DO YOU SAY I'M OPPRESSED? by Mubassirah Bint Solih

Being a Muslim is indeed a blessing, and, we all say alhamduliLlah for that. But, how many of us are really grateful to Allah for that great blessing? The greatest of all blessings any being can ever have in this life?
I was born a Muslim, alhamduliLlah. I started praying Solah (even though I didn’t really know what was said on it) in my JSS3, after an incident that almost cost me my life, alhamduliLlah. Like many other Muslims, I was just the “normal” Muslim girl who wanted to live life and enjoy what I could from here before I grow old and die: funny how we think old age is assured.

I grew up learning the injustice in the world of man firsthand; cultural inequalities, rigid gender roles, sexual abuse and molestation of the girl child, desertion of a woman from the part of her husband, irresponsibility on the part of a father who leaves the financial responsibilities on the shoulders of the woman, domestic violence with women always at the receiving end; you can name any form of injustice the world has imbibed and I’ll tell you I’ve had a taste of it (albeit not always personally of course, I learn majorly from what I see around me). The piece I wrote on how much I hated being a woman should be enough to tell you how much I despised those creatures called “men”. I really had it “up to here” without the courage to voice out or complain.

“You are so lazy” is a line I grew up listening to from everyone: every girl child around here is lazy! No matter how much she works, no matter how tired she gets, no matter how hurt she feels: even for getting sick, she is being lazy!
“Was I created to be a slave to man?” my little 9 year old mind won’t stop questioning, and, I sought answers to those questions far and wide, for many years. Finally, I got the answers I was so hungry for… I learnt that I’m not the only own who feels this way, and, it is not an injustice that has only just started against my gender. “Awesome!” I felt as I studied more about feminism, hating the very concept of “femininity” to the very depth of me. I stood to oppose any and every thing attributed to being a woman: why should I be subjected to a man?

The idea of marriage never appealed to me anyway, so, it wasn’t a great jab that feminism didn’t respect that institution, since it was another “justifiable” means for a man to “exercise” those misplaced “superiority” above the woman, and, we weren’t doing it!
The idea of working and earning my own money was great, I wasn’t going to be assigned the duty of “kitchen-handler” to any man: we will both go out to work and contribute our quota to the society. “You can’t waste these potentials” we tell ourselves; all the more reason we won’t be settling if we actually ventured into marriage right? We will either both have equal rights and entitlements or nothing: he cooks, he washes, he does dishes, he cleans the house, he takes care of babies… there won’t be anything specifically tagged the role of a particular spouse as a function of his/her gender.

The idea of dressing smart and presentable as the women of 21st century that we were… I wasn’t going to start on this note, but then, we have gotten here, so, we might as well get it resolved, right?
Part of the ideologies of feminism is the freedom to expose cleavages and whatever else you’ve got as “assets”, when and how you want to, just as the man is free to do same. It was beautiful to be on “par” with the male gender, wasn’t it? It felt awesome that we were changing the narratives, and turning the table in our favor.
“Freedom is demanded by the oppressed, because, it is never freely presented by the oppressor”, and, that was just what we were doing, right? Leaving the “weak” and “voiceless” tags and claiming the “strong” and “defensive” ones. We weren’t going to remain powerless, we have to help ourselves, because, heaven, they say, helps those who help themselves.

Then, came the powerful realization that I’m a Muslim woman…but, would my religion ask me to remain oppressed by the male gender and not do anything about it?
Overall would be too large a topic to address, I guess, so, I intended to address the issue of the Jilbab being an oppression of Muslim women…
In the three points I mentioned earlier, the Jilbab would obstruct our fight for equality, as I see it. “Men don’t wear the Jilbab, so, why should we?” (when Allah says in Q3:36 that “and the male is NOT LIKE the female”)
“Those who wear the Jilbab don’t get ‘profitable’ jobs that “we” need to get in order to be on the same footing with “them”; so, should we leave that dream and return to being ‘below’ them?”
“Man is said to be the head of the family, what does that make the woman?”
Most of these issues are actually related, and so, I will discuss them as they occurred to me, in shaa Allah.

Aside what the society thinks of those wearing Jilbab, I had personal reservations towards its adoption too. Islam is a religion that guides every step and action in our lives, but then, most of us don’t realize this until pretty late. You know, the very idea that “revealing” is “appealing” came from “seeking” the “appraisal” of the same men we “claim” to want to “scorn”, or, being like men in “nonchalance”, forgetting that we’ve got something they’ve not got in terms of sexual appeal. Overall, even those who claim to not be seeking attention via revealing clothes “subconsciously” crave for that attention; the notion “they can only see but cannot touch” frames the concept; peppering them as we intended, isn’t it?
Using the Jilbab as Islam dictates to us would mean that only “low-paying” jobs (or none at all) would be accessible to us, and, that takes us down to “under them”, where feminism says we shouldn’t be. If you hold that ideology but aren’t feminist, then, my sister, I tell you, indeed, you probably are. You don’t need to be active on any feminist platform or seeking the “gender equality” with all the shouting mantra to be a feminist; subscribing to any of their ideologies, albeit being against the religion, makes you at-risk of being one. May Allah save us from all evils: Aameen.
Feminism was an exposure to limitless freedom which the human nature enjoys, upturning status quo without compunction, and making us forget even the most basic of ideals. Is this really the freedom that is “best” for us?

AlhamduliLlah for the blessing of Islam, for the realization of the noble path…
It was a personal choice I made to use the Jilbab (and then the Niqob), and most of the sisters I know made the choice too, upon realization of the truth of the order of their Lord, for which most of us went through more hardships at the hands of the enemies of Islam, either out of ignorance or arrogance, than we have ever endured in the whole of our lives: this is to firstly clarify the doubts and accusations of some people that these Muslim sisters are “forced” to adorn the Jilbab, by their families, or other than them.
The very day I used the Hijab was when I realized that truth… “We are more valuable than giving them free glances and peeps”, and, if feminism really sought to eradicate the victimization and abuse of women, it ought make this one of its base rules, in a quest to “protect” women from being lusted after by “strange” men. Who does wanton display of the females help, if I may ask?
The Hijab is a symbol of respect and dignity, a show of our authority to restrict men from “seeing” what we do not want them to see, a sign of pride in the nobility of our skin and every part of our body, it is a means for us to be “identified” as believing women so that we may not be “abused” or “disrespected” by anyone! Does someone doubt that?

How many times have you seen a woman in Hijab intermingling with the opposite sex without restraints? How many times have you seen a man touch a woman in Hijab like he does with the “free” women? How many times have you heard a man make a fleeting comment on the sexual appeal of a woman in Hijab? How many times have you seen a woman who is more respected in a gathering than a covered Muslim woman?
Now, with your answers, where lies the true libration? The false one from the West which continues to “compare” us ridiculously with the man whom the Creator says He created differently from us? The false one from the West which makes us “free” and “readily accessible” to any “interested” man to accost and pass some disrespectful comment about how “sexy” she looks? The false one from the West which turns us against the Creator and tells us to strive against the man, leaving our homes and children to the mercy of the corrupted society? The false one from the West which takes pride in wanton display of women and force men to push against self-restraint which fails in the long run and increases the rate of sexual abuse and molestation of women? The false one from the West that degrades a woman to an object of sexuality while fooling her to believe that more is respectable? The false one from the West that brings “us”, you and me, to the very root of animalism where we are nothing but bunches of clothed and yet naked beautiful and seductive skins?

Verily, Usaamah bn Zayd reported from the Prophet that he said “I have not left behind me any trial more harmful to men than women”, and so, these people want you to see yourself as incapable of stirring a man; but, where has that foolery led them? They actually disrespect and dishonor you, but, you know not!
The day you get it right is the day you understand the concept of the “Jilbab” that a Muslim woman adorns herself with, prides herself in, obeys her Lord in, protects her chastity and dignity with, protects the men and help them in obeying their Lords by lowering their gazes in, closes the door to temptation and unwanted cheap attention and compliments from stray men in… the Jilbab, my Jilbab, your Jilbab, our Jilbab… the clothing of the believing woman! Who still thinks it is freedom that makes a woman display herself to the world in chase of the glitters she may never get her hands on? Who still thinks that it is liberation that a woman peels off her clothing before the world and sells herself cheaply to even the most unworthy of buyers? Who still thinks it is a pride to compete with the man in exposing cleavages and making no heads turn? Who still thinks it is deserving of the noble woman to go out before the world without concealing her prized assets that she values above the turning of heads, passing of cheap comments and compliments, invitation to warm the filthy bed of some wandering lost man, and, keeping all of what is “valuable” to her and the lucky man who happens to be her husband in the most amazing of cloaks?

Does anyone of you ever struggles to have a glimpse of a diamond, struggles harder to get it in your possession, and then, leaves it out in the open for “anyone” to view? Does anyone ever put his most treasured belonging out in the open? Does anyone see a pearl in the middle of the road and pick it up to treasure it forever? Wouldn’t you doubt its authenticity?
Now, I tell you, the body of a believing woman is much more valuable than any prized valuable you can think of! They tell you to cover your “privates” because it is deserving to be “protected” from the hungry gazes of “others” and “a shame” to be revealed in public since it would only “tempt” some people into the most awful of craze, and, I tell you, your Lord knows that “all of you” is capable of causing temptation! All of you draws the attention of men! All of you! Every single part of you! And, you listen to them tell you it’s not worthy of being covered? That it is okay for you to expose yourself to them cheaply and freely? That it is deserving of your treasure to be out there in the open?
Up till this moment, by Allah, I regret every single day I have stepped out in the world without my Jilbab, I regret every single moment I have disrespected my body so much I put it out there in the free wandering gazes of men, every single moment I have seen someone smile and compliment me for looking in one particular way, every single moment I have spent out there without putting my treasures in the rightful place of protection… while I ensure that the assets that don’t even level up to this are locked behind the doors when I leave the house! SubhanaLlah! And, someone calls that primitive and shameful display of women who do not know their worth and allow men to disrespect them so as liberation? As freedom in this messed up generation of ours? Even Muslim women think this is so? Muslim women think it is restriction to use the Jilbab? You think it is an oppression that you are told how special you are as a person who is deserving of the honourable cloak of Islam?

Somebody said those who use the Jilbab by choice have grown to accept the subjugation of the womenfolk, thereby, making us see it as “the right way of life”, when in truth it is only another of the means of oppressing the women. And, I asked: would I suffer to use the Jilbab in ignorance? Did my Lord create me as a slave to the man to have ordered the Jilbab? Did I not realize how ugly it has been that I have continuously disrespected and oppressed my own self in the quest to satisfy the society that wouldn’t respect me except I do that?
Nobody forces anybody to use the Jilbab… okay, I know some women get forced to use the Jilbab, by their husbands or their fathers, and these are the ones who abuse the Jilbab! Why? They do not know the importance of it, they have not realized the security and pride it shows the world! And, I say, anyone who uses the Jilbab with sincerity will definitely be proud to always have it on, to always stay covered and away from the disrespectful lustful gazes of these strange and ignoble men of the world!
You know, it is all very simple: these people don’t want you to understand something, and here, let me tell you… they take delight in your exposing your body, they take pleasure in watching you, and so, they do not want you to cover it! These men lust after your body without feeling the need to seek your consent: why would they need your consent when you have already given them the absolute permission by showing it to all and sundry? Is that what you take pride in?

They know that they cannot steal from us this unparalleled covering, and so, they fool us to see it as an oppression, they force us to take to their ways and forget the reality. That is why you see Muslim women who will do anything to get the attention of these strange men. WalyazhubiLlah! And you know how much these “freedom” to uncover has contributed to the skyrocketing of the prevalence of rape in their places? Oh yes, keep fooling yourself… nothing justifies rape! Oh yes, I absolutely subscribe to that, but then, has that stopped or even reduced it any bit?
That is what they say to you, and you know, what they say to you is different from what they do to you: they tell you’re not just good for sex and they doll you all up and bring you out to satisfy the lusts of men where you are silently and actively telling them that you’re only good for sex. Ask yourself this: what passes a more accurate and well-understood message in this instance, the words of your mouths or the actions of your body?

Have you seen a veiled woman cringe at the thought of “unveiling” for a “prospective husband” before? I mean, this is just one man who wants to marry her! That one man needs her agreement and consent to see her face, because he wants to marry her! And still, the Muslim woman “fears” to “reveal” herself to this man. What could be a greater pride? It really amused me when I first heard about it, and, by Allah, I envied them! I’ve heard of a sister who “cried” when she unveiled for her husband-to-be; not one, not two… these are Muslim sisters who know the worth of their bodies and value it as Allah as valued us.
Would you still let the corrupt women of the 21st century and their men strip you of this honour? Would you still allow yourself to be fooled into thinking you’re only as good as how much skin you reveal to the world? Would you still be swayed by the wanton display in your environment and the whole world which has only led to more problems than ever solving them? Would you continue to disrespect the body that Allah treasures in a bid to satisfy the world and her gluttonous people who seek to reap from places where they especially don’t have to sow? The freedom that was “demanded” and fought for, is it to stay naked (who fights anyone to cover?) or to stay covered (who encourages a woman to leave the free market where oppression is painted as liberation to become noble?)

My beloved sisters in Islam, learn about Islam, learn about the Jilbab, learn about your own worth and dignity, learn about the respect that comes with the use of the Jilbab, learn about your identity as a Muslim woman and don’t let anybody take away that unrivalled honour from you… I beg you to know and understand that covering is indeed a pride and the real liberation! My Jilbab, your Jilbab, our Jilbab, the Jilbab… the greatest honour of any sane woman who knows the value of her body! May Allah grant us the ability to recognize the truth and submit to it: Aameen. May He make it easy for us to obey His commands and derive maximum benefits from it in the life of this world and the next: Aameen.