PLACES YOU SHOULDN'T GO IN YOUR HEAD by Mubassirah Bint Solih

It is not strange to hear that quite a larger percentage of the world population lives with some sorts of poor self-concept, where it is believed that you are someone who is less important and less dignified than any and every other person walking the surface of the earth. All of these things are products of going places we ought not to go in our heads.
It is your head and your haven, yes, but, there are some places in there that ought be left shut and kept sealed immediately your cursor starts navigating in their directions. It is okay to not know how it begins, but, once you realize you have started to open those compartments, call back yourself and retrieve the lock. Where are these places?
The major reason you see yourself as “less” than every other person, you know it? It is the same “comparison” that you assume you cannot avoid completely, and it is from the compartment that houses the most dangerous of self-destructive instruments! Yes, it is only one of the numerous compartments in your head, but, it really is from amongst the places you shouldn’t go in. When you realize the importance of keeping some compartments out-of-bounds, are able to work successfully towards actualizing that goal, you will invariably be able to explore the other compartments that house the essential ingredients for a self-fulfilled life.
Until you get to that point where you are able to stop yourself from comparing yourself to any other person, wishing for another person’s life instead of the one you are living, admiring others and debasing yourself, seeing yourself as a failure beside every other person you seem to ever come across: talk of “the grass appears greener at the other end”, whereas, it is only reality that the grass isn’t greener at the other end, no matter how farther you look; it is only a product of your perspective.

That place in your head where comparisons stem from, where low self-esteem stems from, where self-hate or blame stems from, where dissatisfaction with your life stems from, where ingratitude stems from, among other things that contribute to stopping you from believing in yourself and aiming for the maximal attainment of your potentials are places that should be sealed off completely!
How do you Ensure you don’t go to these Places in your Head?
We have established that there are indeed places you shouldn’t go in your head, but, we might as well admit that it is not a feat that can be achieved in just a moment of decision; it is a process that requires our active dedication and involvement. Hence, I will be discussing six of the most important measures to implement in sealing off those places:

Know Yourself: this is a no-brainer, right? The major reason you cannot stop comparing yourself to others is that you do not “know” who you are and what makes you “YOU”. Hence, it is essential that you give yourself the chance at this awesome first step to realize your strengths and weaknesses, your hobbies and talents, your flares and pitfalls; just study yourself to identify your own uniqueness. It is expected that when you know the essential qualities that make up your unique self, you are able to avoid going to those places in your head that make you feel as if you are “all bad” or “low” as compared with everyone else.

Forgive and Accept Yourself: upon knowing who you are, it is essential that you accept what you find of yourself; the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly. Wishing for some things to be different might be from among the worst thing you would be doing to yourself; while it is beautiful to seek to make necessary changes to make you better, it is even more important that you understand where the border stands in seeking improvement and sinking in self-disappointment. In the same vein, you need to forgive yourself for whatever you have done wrong previously, wrong decisions you have made for yourself; just let the ugly past go so that you can grasp the present in seeking a more fulfilling future. More than any other person, you need to forgive yourself and stop revisiting the chapters of your life where the flaws have become manifest to you and you have “changed”; this is from amongst what makes you assume that others have “clean” slates or at least “cleaner” slates as compared to yours, whereas, the only difference is that you know more about “you” than about “others”.
Do forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made and accept yourself moving forward.

Focus on your Strengths and Address your Weaknesses: identifying the places you fall short in might be a great discouragement, right? Especially when every other person around seem to find it relatively “normal” to just do those things you cannot do. Now, you do not have to do that to yourself: everybody has their own talents and potentials, and, as a popular author said “the fish will live its entire life believing it’s stupid if we expect it to fly whilst it can do extraordinary in swimming”. So, you see? You’re probably not giving yourself enough chance to identify your strength, or, you downplay the areas you’re awesome at because you feel the people around you don’t appreciate your own type of talent. It doesn’t have to be so, I say it again. You need to focus on your strength in building yourself and your self-esteem, you need to trust that you’ve got elements of greatness and can break boundaries too… then, you need to address your weaknesses and get better at them in order to further boost your confidence! That is just the way to it! And that is why I refer you back to the first point: know yourself and appreciate what you find!

Keep a Beautiful Circle of Friends: this might come off as rather unnecessary, but, we all know that the times you have to explore those places in your head are especially those times you have to yourself, right? We are social animals and can never overemphasize the importance of friends and significant others in our individual lives. Here, I will emphasize that you make sure to keep friends who see greatness in you and believe in you, even when you don’t seem to believe in yourself, friends who would motivate you towards greatness, friends who would “force” you to stretch limits and reach for your true potentials, friends who would accept and appreciate you for who you really are.
Many of us get it wrong when it comes to choosing friends, well, because we failed in knowing our own selves and end up mixing with just about anybody who comes around with an offer of friendship. Now is the time to reconsider all of those whom you have around and see which and how many of them are really deserving of being called your friend: who cares about you enough to realize things about you that you don’t even tell them? Who cares about you enough to pick up a form in your name and dare you to not win, simply because they believe in the potentials that even you don’t see in yourself? Who cares enough about you to remain with you in your lowest moments and listen to you express yourself in rambles and breaks without pushing you for more details or judging your any wrong or mistake?
Do you have the kinds of friends who would ensure you keep open only those compartments in your head that will help your growth and developments, whilst making you rarely, if at all, go to those places that need to be shut off? Now is the time to make sure you roll with the right crowd!

Accept and Appreciate Compliments: it might be funny, but no, many of us find it rather difficult to accept compliments, and instead, we would rather believe these people are actually flattering or buttering us up. You know for yourself that it is true; how can you accept someone calling you great when you see yourself as the lowest of the lowest? Again, point one remains very essential in helping us to know our onions. Calm down and relax when someone throws a compliment your way, don’t just start going places in your head about how “anyone” would have done “better” than you did: the sky is wide enough for every bird to maintain their individuality, right? So, yes, the earth is wide enough for every one of us to maintain our individuality and do our own “best” in our various personal spheres. So, next time someone throws you a compliment, take it in, smile and appreciate it: it will really go a long way in making you believe you are really “capable”, and, you are encouraged to do better next time.

Have a Realistic Goal: finally, yeah? This will be a product of every other thing put in place; considering your interests, attitude, aptitude, talents, hobbies, likes, and dislikes, set an attainable goal for yourself. This will serve to give you a sense of direction and purpose in life, a sense of authority in your life, and a motivation to meaningful achievements. Having a realistic goal helps you to maximally plan your activities to make the most out of your time and resources, and as such, you tend to subconsciously seal out the doors that lead to those places you shouldn’t go in your head.
This should help you live better without the consistent nagging at the back of your mind from the insecurity that results from wandering through those places... try them out and welcome awesome changes in your psychological processes and emotional maturity.

5 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE by Mubassirah Bint Solih

It is unarguable that we all have some unpleasant things we condone in our lives, for and about ourselves as well as other people around us; despite knowing they are not good for us, we still go ahead to keep them nonetheless. It is true that some things should be managed and endured for us to help ourselves and others, but, there are definitely some things that should never have a place in our lives.
Here is a list of five things you should never have in your life:

Self-Doubt: this definitely tops the list as it remains the most dangerous of self-destructive tools, and hence, should never be condoned in any form. Self-doubt is a phenomenon that refers to the crazy thump in your chest, the nag in your head, the anxiety in your being, and all else that questions your ability to carry out a particular endeavour, and yes, it emanates from the self. Self-doubt is one of those things you don’t deserve and should never have, because, it remains the root of failure and dissatisfaction: no matter how far you go, you will never see the good in yourself, and, no matter how much people believe in you, you will never believe in yourself, and so, you will never feel the joy of fulfillment or have the courage to ever take on great steps.
Have you ever heard the line: whatever it is, don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you do not deserve what you want? If you have never, now you have, and, that is telling you in plain terms to always go for what you want, no matter how “big” you think it is; if you can do the work, you can have the pay! Also, remember that “whatever you can see in your mind, you can have in your hands”, so, now you know you can shoot for the moon, right?
Don’t just shoot though, believe you can really get there! That is the whole essence of this: strip yourself of those nagging demons that rise everywhere in your head whenever you set out on a beautiful course, take them far away from you for they don’t have a place in your life… trust and believe in yourself!

Self-Blame: this is yet another destructive instrument that should never have a place in your life, and still, many of us are unable to find our ways around it. First off, know that you are only human and as such, are liable to making mistakes, like any and everyone else. Everyone you see has done some things in the past that they wish they either hadn’t done at all or done the way they did it, made some choices they wish could be undone, gone places they wish they never went… the list is endless as to the extent of the unavoidability of making some wrong decisions as humans: I tell you again, it is perfectly normal!
Self-blame forces you to wallow in regrets with all the accusatory daggers pointing at just you as responsible for your own misery, and, it makes you feel like you do not deserve forgiveness or any good: does that ring a bell with you?
If it does, then, you definitely know it is not something that should be allowed to stay with you, in any form at all. You should always be willing to take responsibility for whatever wrongs you commit, but, that should be all; never more! Taking responsibility for your fault is admitting that you are wrong and taking steps towards redemption: but, self-blame only keeps you feeling guilty and evil, ensuring you always feel bad about yourself and never attempt to reach for your dreams again; which is very unfair to you, right?
The point here is FORGIVENESS! Forgive yourself for all the bad you’ve committed, forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made, forgive yourself for all the imperfections you’ve gathered over the years, forgive yourself for all the points where your stick falls short, forgive yourself for all the emotions you’ve wasted on people who never returned them, forgive yourself for all the time you’ve wasted, forgive yourself for everything, for only then will you be able to really move on and away from the clutches of the shadows of the past, only then will you be able to see the good in you and seek to bless the world with its manifestations.
You were wrong, but, you are not evil… never forget that!

Unattainable Goals: it is beautiful to dream high and beautiful, and, it is very much encouraged. However, there is a limit to everything: remember you’re only human and can only do just as much you can do.
Your goals should be set based on your abilities, interests, passion, aptitude, attitude, and values; all of these combine to help you set realistic and self-motivating goals, as much as you want. Otherwise, you set the bar too high for yourself, chasing dreams way out of your league, and having goals that are not attainable for your person. This is usually a product of inadequate knowledge of self, coupled with overwhelming feeling of envy for others, pressure from family and significant others, prejudice of the society towards certain professions and goals, among others: you set your standards based on the perceptions and achievements of others, neglecting the most important element in the actualization of your set goals; which is YOU.
The outcome of having unachievable goals do not need to be listed, we all know the feeling of emptiness and worthlessness that comes with “failure”, whether or not it was deserved or not. Yes, I stated earlier that you deserve whatever it is that you want and are ready to work for, and, this is not negating that in any way, it is only adding a key factor, which is “adequate knowledge of self” in setting the bar for yourself.
Many students dream of being medical doctors, and that is really beautiful and achievable, but, you will agree with me that it needs to come with the right prerequisites: a student who gets scared at the sight of blood would never do well as a medical student, would he? Just as a student who hates mathematics and knows he is deficient in it should never dream of being an accountant, and, a student who is naturally quiet and lacks vigour to argue his points in the face of opposition should not dream of being a lawyer… does that clarify the point for us? It is not saying to not dream big, it is saying to dream big as appropriate for you!
This point would leave us yet again with the saying: the fish would live its entire life believing it is stupid if its ability is tested with flying instead of swimming: know your potentials and seek to maximally harness them correctly! Don’t set your trap wrong and then blame its inability to catch the right animals on something else: set it right!

Unhealthy Competition: now, this is yet another major setback that many of us have found ourselves fully immersed in, which should never have been in our lives at all. Competitions are healthy when they push you towards betterment, and they become unhealthy when they push you towards hate and insecurity.
It is always beautiful to put yourself beside others and see how you measure up, so that you can identify what makes them better and you can improve yourself, for yourself. However, the world has gone far away from that, and competitions now work to only incite rage against your “rivals” and insecurity about your own footings: this should never be allowed to settle, and, if it already has, now is the time to discard it!
Life is not about who is better at it, it shouldn’t be, life is supposed to be about what ways you can contribute to make things better for yourself and others, and, that would allow everybody the freedom to contribute their own best in their different unique ways. This is to tell you to stop comparing yourself to others in order to find accomplishment; do what you enjoy doing and always improve yourself in it! Find joy in giving what you can rather than in giving what another person cannot: we have different gifts and potentials, and, we should be allowed to explore our individuality maximally.
Unhealthy competition hinders growth, and, it should never have a place in your beautiful life; okay?
Even if no other person sees it, you are great in your own sphere, so long as it gives you gladness and contentment!

Toxic Relationships: this does not refer only to relationships where your life is threatened, it refers to any and every relationship that does not allow you the freedom to be the best you can be; psychologically, socially, emotionally, academically, vocationally, and even physically. Toxic relationships are usually results of our willingness to accept and adore anyone at all who offers us friendship, whether or not our views on life and dreams align or not: we do not know the importance of companionship, and so, we allow anybody in.
This is not to say that you should not appreciate everybody who is willing to be your friend, of course, it is saying that you should know the limits to set with every single one of them, depending on how compatible you are on different levels. On the other end of the same branch, this is to tell you that you deserve every good life has got to offer, and even though you wouldn’t be taking anyone for granted, you should never feel as though a particular person’s presence in your life is a favour or a sacrifice on their part, which would then force you to always be willing to do anything to keep them: that is unfair to your good nature, and, you should not do it!
Toxic relationships should not have a place in your life, you should never keep them no matter what! This point emphasizes your ASSERTIVENESS! You should never be forced to say “YES” when you have to say “NO”; be bold enough to stand for yourself how and when you should. If there is a friend you have who never encourages your dream, motivate you towards getting better, compliment your good nature, runs you down in public or private, belittles your sacrifices and accomplishments, tells you to not go after what you want for they believe you cannot get it: you know a bad friend when you see one, and, you should love yourself enough to put garbage in its rightful place; no offense.
You have enough anxiety and insecurity to deal with on your own, and, the people around you should never be compounding that: they would like you to view things from the many possible perspectives, and that’s okay, but, you can tell the difference when someone is telling you “be wise” as advice and “be wise” as insult. This requires some level of maturity too, to know when you should leave the table where respect is no longer being served. No matter who they are, no matter how high and mighty they are, they have no business running you down if they are indeed who you think they are to you.
Get it straight and set it right.
These five things should definitely have no place in your life, and, if you are already accommodating them, for your own good and sanity, show them to their rightful place.

Mubassirah Bint Solih

THE LINES ON THE PALMS OF MY HAND by Mubassirah Bint Solih

It all starts with the quest for freedom, not the freedom of the liberal world, but, the freedom from the liberal world and all of its throngs.
The shadows of our past won’t stop haunting us, in our chase of the golden light and the bounties that accompany it, weighing down on our souls and making the flight as slow as possible. It is strange, they say, that we run away from that which every other person chases in blind infatuation. If only they know what we know…
Nobody feels what we feel, and we suffer the abandonment and persecutions from family, friends, and acquaintances, all because we run away from that which we have stayed bounded to all the previous years of our lives, which is the slavery that we once thought was ultimate liberation, like those who seek to get us back into the darkness our Lord has saved us from.

The ugliness and scare that the darkness brings with it, erasing the lines we draw courage from in the time of great distress and confusion, to remind us of the most important fact our lives are based on: what did we learn from going about with you all day long? There is nothing you can get done in this world without using the hands after all, even those moments when the devil creeps up and tells you to consider grave ills and commit horrible injustice against your own soul… it gets too hard and you contemplate suicide?
They told me that the lines on our palms came with us into the world and we know not how it got there… I know I was created to live for a purpose, to serve a great cause, to fulfill a mighty mission, and, the world threw me in the middle to shed all of the safety I was initially forced to get clad in like a shell. The world isn’t for the meek, they say, and the powerless get naught save more hardships and sufferings. It is our world, and we’re in with the bones and flesh in our heads.

Raise up your palms and stare deeply at them, see between those lines that stand prominent and stare back at you without fear, and be sure what you pick of lessons from your sufferings.
The people of the world can get your mind shackled alongside your wrists, restricting your movements and pinning you to a spot, against your will and volition. The freedom you seek is different from the one they know, it is different from the one that cares only about the physical and abandons the soul, it is different from the one that prides in taking up long outdated primitive manners and painting it as “civilization”, it is different from the one that disrespects its adherents and fools them into thinking it’s utmost respect, it is different from the one which limits our worries to the frivolities of the temporal world, it is different from the one with ever changing values and respectable criteria, it is different in entirety, and so it is strange to the world. The seamless differences give rise to the uproar against your lowly entity, whilst their wish is to get you back “on track”. If only they know what you know.

They batter our bodies and souls, in order to discourage us from seeking that light He has blessed our hearts to identify in the horrible darkness, like we’re criminals who stole from their harvests, because, they feel incapable of understanding the truth that we present and submit to. Within and around us, adversaries abound, seeking to drag us down to get us crashing in flames. The people of ignorance and arrogance, the unfinished businesses we left over, the unresolved baggage that haunt from our ugly pasts… they all call to us to get down from the ladder of beautiful guidance that has been adorned with unbecoming girdles. They seek to “help” us get away from what has “brainwashed” us, but, they know that we should be responsible for calling them back to the truth that the Dunya is only but a life of deception.

You are misunderstood and judged wrongly by acquaintances, for speaking your mind or keeping it to yourself, and, now, you hate that nobody understands you or share your sentiments. You are mocked for some nature defects which are in no way your fault and cannot be changed by you, and it hurts that what everyone sees is that ugliness that makes wish you had a different life. You are gossiped for some compromising situation you were forced in or some skeletons long hidden behind the closet which you have no way of getting rid of, and it hurts terribly that none of those who mean the world to you could stand up for you. You are unable to get a source of livelihood despite your endless efforts and hope, and it hurts now because your hope is starting to wane in the face of mockery and disrespect from all around. You are unable to get married, and it hurts that you feel as though you’re the one with the most pathetic case… life problems are endless after all.

We let ourselves get fooled like we don’t see those lines on our palms… all of the victimization has now ended, giving rise to scars that will never get erased. The sufferings of the world can go on for as long as time exists, but, we know that it is definitely going to end someday, if we don’t die before that time. Every battle is hard, every struggle is difficult, but, what would be the prize for the price paid in remaining steadfast in that battle? Would you be proud that you let the scars scare you from moving ahead in the truth your Lord had helped you realize? Would you submit to the demons that present your sordid past to you like it’s permanently registered in your records and the world and her people will never forgive you for it? Would you let yourself be subdued by the whispers of the Accursed who seeks only to turn you away from the way of your Lord and His pleasure? Would you end the fierce battle and betray the strength with which your gallantness fought through this whole time by losing to your own Nafs? Would you let it all go down the drain by despairing in the mercy of your Lord? Would you allow the Shaytan to win this battle against you by making suicide appeal to you like an escape from the endless pains and sufferings?
You are a believer, you are human… you get tired, you get drained… you wish the end will come soon, you wish you didn’t have so many skeletons hidden in the cover of the past…  you hear the mockery of the people who “know” of those ugly things, you bear the taunts of the haters of the light you have been blessed with… that is all just fine and normal, but, I ask you to remember that Allah forbid us from taking any soul unjustly, and that includes our own individual lives.

It may be hard to talk to people about those secret innermost feelings, afraid that they may not understand or even judge you for being weak and “not up to the faith you portray”, but, you know, we all go through those times when it gets too hard and we consider giving up; so, quit thinking you’re being an hypocrite for feeling “fed up” and wanting it all to end, stop forcing yourself to appear ideally holy to the world; it’s not worth it!
When it gets real hard, look over the scars you’ve accumulated over the years, think over the sufferings you have endured over the years, look over the memories you’ve made over the years… there’s a part of you that always heals up, leaving no scars, no matter what. You know where?
It’s those lines on the palms of your hands!
No matter how much blisters they accumulate, however deep they are cut, the lines of your palms return without alterations, leaving no sign for remembrance.

I got a gash from a broken glass when I was little, which was as a result of trying to go down with my palms instead of other parts in a fall (so, you can imagine how deep?) My thumb barely remained, and I had to hold it in place with my other hand. Like every other body part, I thought it would leave a permanent scar. However, I was surprised to notice that there was not a single mark left, and I can’t even tell which of the two palms got cut now, after over 15 years at the least. Funny I never monitored its healing? Well, what do kids care when they are able to return to their plays? And, how did I even get to notice this?
It was one of those gloomy days, and, I remembered one of the days I had been deeply hurt and scared, in order to gain some comfort in the knowledge that “this too will pass”, but then, I got the surprise instead. I looked at both hands and couldn’t find a difference; the lines of my palms were intact! I then looked deeply at the both of them and took a deep sigh. You know what I learnt in that single moment?
“This part of me can heal and leave no scar without any effort on my part, so, the world would pass without leaving any trail, and, we will leave the world like we never existed either. The pains you are living through now will pass and you can live without shadows of the past, if only you will give it as much time as it needs!” I realized that in a single moment, from the lines of my palms.

The scars that reflect our strength can thrive on any part of us but not our palms, a part of us we use (maybe) more than every other, and, that is a lesson for you and me, that the life of this world is nothing but delusions and play, that the heart of a believer is gladdened at the tests of his Lord, that the pains we complain of now will be forgotten at some point, that the aches we feel now are going to be left either in our past (when we survive) or in the world (when we don’t survive), so that the pains are no longer felt as exactly as they felt at the moment.

The lines on the palms of your hands go through more sufferings, but still, they don’t go anywhere! If they can keep thriving to remain with you, why will you think of using those same hands to hurt yourself because you feel it’s gotten too difficult for you to bear? Wouldn’t you rather share this lesson with me and always remind yourself that “just as the cuts made on the palms heal without scars, the problems you are facing will pass without ruining you”, uh? In your quest for freedom, the freedom that the liberal world cannot give you, appreciate the perseverance of the lines on the palms of your hands and keep trusting your Lord.
Allah says to seek help in patience and prayers, He has told us to maintain a beautiful patience… He has informed us that we wouldn’t be left alone just because we believe, and so, a believer remains patient and steadfast with perseverance…
Indeed, in every creation of Allah, there are wondrous lessons to be learnt. May Allah continue to ease our affairs and grant us beneficial Sabr: Aameen.

MOTHER; AN HEAVENLY TITLE! by AbdulGaffar Muhammed

Mother, an heavenly title!
The general canoe that must be jointly paddle
For Almighty Allah named after them a Surah (1)
A decent woman must cover her Aorah (2)

Mother, an highly praised position!
Must be perfectly constructed for her upcoming generation
Even the Jannah lies under her feet
A bonus every children should meet

Mother, a sacrificial name!
Gave all what she possess and swallow her fame
She is entitled to special honours
"Your mother then your mother" said, the noble one

Mother, a significant role!
Expected of her to be of strong pole
She should stand as a societal reconstruction
Build a woman and you find yourself building a Nation

Mother, an unshakable personnel!
A pleasant pillow fragile like an egg
She's the tower of power on thy mean marrow
Brighter than the sun, stars and shadow.

–––––––————
1. Suratul Nissah
2. Nakedness

May Almighty Allah bless our Mothers
And make them habitants of the Jannah

WHAT WE MISS by Mubassirah Bint Solih

It is rather funny how we actually grow up with “memorized” beliefs about God which we never internalized or “believed”; we miss the most essential part of our faith without realizing.
Have you ever sat to ponder on the reason you’re Muslim instead of an adherent of any other faith? Have you ever sat to ponder on the reason you have to pray five times daily in the name of worship? Have you ever, at any point in time, considered crossing carpets?

If you have never, I wouldn’t know if I should say congratulations or otherwise.
You see, I was in a group training last night, it was on a very common entrepreneurial skill, and it was handled by a Christian (it was offered for free by her actually). There was no mention of faith or spirituality through the length of the training, but, as we draw to the end of the stipulated month for which the training was promised to run through, she sent to us a “great gift” in form of a video where she “called” every member on the group to accept “Christ” as their personal Lord and Savior “for there is no salvation anywhere but there”.
That might not really ring a bell to many of us, but, if it does to you, ma shaa Allah. You see, a lot of things crossed my mind as I watched that video last night, and, from the many emotions that flitted through were anger and disappointment.
Allah says in the Qur’an that the disbelievers would never be pleased with us until they turn us to their way, and, we continue to confirm it in our daily experiences, yet, we see Muslims who keep disbelievers as close friends, while, a large unexpected number of believers even dote on staunch disbelievers: we ask Allah to guide us and help us to submit to the truth upon realization, Aameen.

It is not hidden to anyone how “bold” this people are in inviting unto the way they believe is right, whilst we who are upon true guidance remain “cowardly” and watch them spread the message, and worse, it causes doubt in the minds and heads of some servants of Allah, making them doubt the originality of Islam, walyazhubiLlah, before some will finally apostate.

Remember, Allah says in Q5:3, "This day, I have perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion".
There are people who would remain in Islam out of fear of their families, whilst bearing no belief whatsoever in the faith they proclaim as Muslims: what is the point in praying five times daily every single waking day of your life? What is the point in being a servant when you can honourably be called a child of God? These are questions that the mind of every Muslim seeks answers to, and, it is the responsibility of every parent to ensure the answer is boldly and pleasantly engraved in their minds before they are even exposed to the world.

When you listen to this people, by Allah, and you are not rooted in your faith and conviction, the walls of your resistance will shake from the very roots. Unless you absolutely know your onions, you cannot escape the foundations of doubt and endless questioning this sort of speech will have on your soul: how many of our children are raised to know right from wrong? How many of us were told how this is different from that? How many of us were made to “understand” our faith and not just “follow” our parents in what we see them do or hear them say, even when our minds question the unquestionable?

Truly, the religion with Allah is Islam (Q3:19).
I was there too, some many years ago, through my JSS3 and part of SS1. Being the lazy person that I am, my father used to have to force us to pray Fajr Solah (the dawn prayer) before we leave home for school, and for me especially, it was always after I had gotten dressed for school. He would just ask: have you prayed? And, by Allah, we were anything else but liars, so, I would begrudgingly say “no” and get a few insults before returning inside to pray it “how I know to”. Now, these preachers came to my school and said their things, and, at the end of it, they gave bibles to everyone of us. It made sense to me that I wouldn’t have an obligation towards praying anymore after all… I started going to Church and reading my bible (without the knowledge of anybody in my family), and, I got to the point where I shouted “blood of Jesus” whenever I got scared. I started loving the simplicity in the religion: singing and dancing are fun and not work; I loved the Bible for it was written in English and I could understand without having to seek the help of an extra book (we had only one translated Qur’an in my house, and it was very big actually; not like anybody ever read the Qur’an anyway). I thought I had finally found my path and was going to live for Christ, but, as always, I had no courage to confront my family with the “truth”.

I was reading from a passage in the bible one day when my father stormed into my room, annoyed at the fact that he had been calling me for a while without getting a response… long story cut short, my bible got seized that day, and, I was warned to be careful since the Qur’an was there turning dusty with nobody paying any mind to it. “No son of my father will desert Islam and remain one of us” I got that fact clear that day, but, it only went to strengthen my resolve to pursue the “truth” against all odds, as it was promised that people will always rise against you when you stand for the truth. I prayed for the Lord’s guidance upon my family, and especially upon my father.
Hmmm… I did hide and seek Christianity for over a year, pursuing the path of the Lord and increasing my understanding of the Bible… then, came that day I almost lost my life and the truth got really clear to me…
It remains one of the worst memories I’ve got: I was going to visit a friend on my way back from school (without heading home first) when I got accosted by some guy who didn’t look anything short of normal. At first, it felt funny, but, as time went by and he wouldn’t stop blocking my way, I realized I was very much in trouble. A few people passed, but, none took interest in inquiring what was going on, much less asking him to let him go. He took out a knife and was going to do things (I used to be particularly stubborn in relating with the male species, but, on this day, I knew I stood no chance); he made me kneel first, and then he made very stupid threats as he did some more stupid things. I called on Jesus till I got tired as he only got angrier and worse, then, I knew within myself that I was just fooling myself; something was definitely not right with me calling on Jesus when I used to worship the God that sent him. I resorted to begging Allah to save my life and not let him do anything to me (I was around 15/16 at the time), and, as Allah will have it, a woman came by and went to him. Then, he eventually agreed to let me go for her sake, after several minutes of plea. God, how I sighed. He left and the woman asked me how I could anger such a notorious cultist, I could only thank her and promise to never insult any man again. Lol… I turned on my heels and headed home immediately, and, that day, I “really” prayed, I observed Solah and really felt it.

I started reading my Qur’an and was able to appreciate the real truth… not everybody gets so lucky, right?  Allah could have chosen to save me then and let me continue to believe there was power in the blood of Jesus that was never even shed in the first place!

WaLlah, we need to really educate our children on their faith, they need to “know” with proofs and evidences instead of the rote style we were raised with: let them be able to answer any question the Shaytan may raise in their minds about the Almighty, about heaven, about their ‘ibaadah, about the religion in entiret; let them know their onions for real… may Allah not make us disbelieve after we have disbelieved: Aameen.
For those of us who have already grown: know, may Allah bless you, there is no doubt in the salvation of this Deen, and there is no doubt in the knowledge that only Islam connects you to the One True God and Creator, and as such, remains the only way by which you will earn His mercy and gain His pleasure. The only way to get yourself rooted is to increase yourself in the knowledge of this Deen, surround yourself with righteous people, and, never “test” waters with your faith by saying you can resist a preacher from the stray people, as the Shaytan wants nothing more than leading you away from the mercy of your Lord, and he will achieve that by no other means than by planting doubts into your mind through what goes into your ears. "And whoever seeks a religion other than Islam, it will never be accepted of him, and in the hereafter, he will be one of the losers." Q3:85.

May Allah guide us to the right path, the path of those whom He is pleased with and not those upon who is His anger and those who are astray: Aameen.

DO YOU SAY I'M OPPRESSED? by Mubassirah Bint Solih

Being a Muslim is indeed a blessing, and, we all say alhamduliLlah for that. But, how many of us are really grateful to Allah for that great blessing? The greatest of all blessings any being can ever have in this life?
I was born a Muslim, alhamduliLlah. I started praying Solah (even though I didn’t really know what was said on it) in my JSS3, after an incident that almost cost me my life, alhamduliLlah. Like many other Muslims, I was just the “normal” Muslim girl who wanted to live life and enjoy what I could from here before I grow old and die: funny how we think old age is assured.

I grew up learning the injustice in the world of man firsthand; cultural inequalities, rigid gender roles, sexual abuse and molestation of the girl child, desertion of a woman from the part of her husband, irresponsibility on the part of a father who leaves the financial responsibilities on the shoulders of the woman, domestic violence with women always at the receiving end; you can name any form of injustice the world has imbibed and I’ll tell you I’ve had a taste of it (albeit not always personally of course, I learn majorly from what I see around me). The piece I wrote on how much I hated being a woman should be enough to tell you how much I despised those creatures called “men”. I really had it “up to here” without the courage to voice out or complain.

“You are so lazy” is a line I grew up listening to from everyone: every girl child around here is lazy! No matter how much she works, no matter how tired she gets, no matter how hurt she feels: even for getting sick, she is being lazy!
“Was I created to be a slave to man?” my little 9 year old mind won’t stop questioning, and, I sought answers to those questions far and wide, for many years. Finally, I got the answers I was so hungry for… I learnt that I’m not the only own who feels this way, and, it is not an injustice that has only just started against my gender. “Awesome!” I felt as I studied more about feminism, hating the very concept of “femininity” to the very depth of me. I stood to oppose any and every thing attributed to being a woman: why should I be subjected to a man?

The idea of marriage never appealed to me anyway, so, it wasn’t a great jab that feminism didn’t respect that institution, since it was another “justifiable” means for a man to “exercise” those misplaced “superiority” above the woman, and, we weren’t doing it!
The idea of working and earning my own money was great, I wasn’t going to be assigned the duty of “kitchen-handler” to any man: we will both go out to work and contribute our quota to the society. “You can’t waste these potentials” we tell ourselves; all the more reason we won’t be settling if we actually ventured into marriage right? We will either both have equal rights and entitlements or nothing: he cooks, he washes, he does dishes, he cleans the house, he takes care of babies… there won’t be anything specifically tagged the role of a particular spouse as a function of his/her gender.

The idea of dressing smart and presentable as the women of 21st century that we were… I wasn’t going to start on this note, but then, we have gotten here, so, we might as well get it resolved, right?
Part of the ideologies of feminism is the freedom to expose cleavages and whatever else you’ve got as “assets”, when and how you want to, just as the man is free to do same. It was beautiful to be on “par” with the male gender, wasn’t it? It felt awesome that we were changing the narratives, and turning the table in our favor.
“Freedom is demanded by the oppressed, because, it is never freely presented by the oppressor”, and, that was just what we were doing, right? Leaving the “weak” and “voiceless” tags and claiming the “strong” and “defensive” ones. We weren’t going to remain powerless, we have to help ourselves, because, heaven, they say, helps those who help themselves.

Then, came the powerful realization that I’m a Muslim woman…but, would my religion ask me to remain oppressed by the male gender and not do anything about it?
Overall would be too large a topic to address, I guess, so, I intended to address the issue of the Jilbab being an oppression of Muslim women…
In the three points I mentioned earlier, the Jilbab would obstruct our fight for equality, as I see it. “Men don’t wear the Jilbab, so, why should we?” (when Allah says in Q3:36 that “and the male is NOT LIKE the female”)
“Those who wear the Jilbab don’t get ‘profitable’ jobs that “we” need to get in order to be on the same footing with “them”; so, should we leave that dream and return to being ‘below’ them?”
“Man is said to be the head of the family, what does that make the woman?”
Most of these issues are actually related, and so, I will discuss them as they occurred to me, in shaa Allah.

Aside what the society thinks of those wearing Jilbab, I had personal reservations towards its adoption too. Islam is a religion that guides every step and action in our lives, but then, most of us don’t realize this until pretty late. You know, the very idea that “revealing” is “appealing” came from “seeking” the “appraisal” of the same men we “claim” to want to “scorn”, or, being like men in “nonchalance”, forgetting that we’ve got something they’ve not got in terms of sexual appeal. Overall, even those who claim to not be seeking attention via revealing clothes “subconsciously” crave for that attention; the notion “they can only see but cannot touch” frames the concept; peppering them as we intended, isn’t it?
Using the Jilbab as Islam dictates to us would mean that only “low-paying” jobs (or none at all) would be accessible to us, and, that takes us down to “under them”, where feminism says we shouldn’t be. If you hold that ideology but aren’t feminist, then, my sister, I tell you, indeed, you probably are. You don’t need to be active on any feminist platform or seeking the “gender equality” with all the shouting mantra to be a feminist; subscribing to any of their ideologies, albeit being against the religion, makes you at-risk of being one. May Allah save us from all evils: Aameen.
Feminism was an exposure to limitless freedom which the human nature enjoys, upturning status quo without compunction, and making us forget even the most basic of ideals. Is this really the freedom that is “best” for us?

AlhamduliLlah for the blessing of Islam, for the realization of the noble path…
It was a personal choice I made to use the Jilbab (and then the Niqob), and most of the sisters I know made the choice too, upon realization of the truth of the order of their Lord, for which most of us went through more hardships at the hands of the enemies of Islam, either out of ignorance or arrogance, than we have ever endured in the whole of our lives: this is to firstly clarify the doubts and accusations of some people that these Muslim sisters are “forced” to adorn the Jilbab, by their families, or other than them.
The very day I used the Hijab was when I realized that truth… “We are more valuable than giving them free glances and peeps”, and, if feminism really sought to eradicate the victimization and abuse of women, it ought make this one of its base rules, in a quest to “protect” women from being lusted after by “strange” men. Who does wanton display of the females help, if I may ask?
The Hijab is a symbol of respect and dignity, a show of our authority to restrict men from “seeing” what we do not want them to see, a sign of pride in the nobility of our skin and every part of our body, it is a means for us to be “identified” as believing women so that we may not be “abused” or “disrespected” by anyone! Does someone doubt that?

How many times have you seen a woman in Hijab intermingling with the opposite sex without restraints? How many times have you seen a man touch a woman in Hijab like he does with the “free” women? How many times have you heard a man make a fleeting comment on the sexual appeal of a woman in Hijab? How many times have you seen a woman who is more respected in a gathering than a covered Muslim woman?
Now, with your answers, where lies the true libration? The false one from the West which continues to “compare” us ridiculously with the man whom the Creator says He created differently from us? The false one from the West which makes us “free” and “readily accessible” to any “interested” man to accost and pass some disrespectful comment about how “sexy” she looks? The false one from the West which turns us against the Creator and tells us to strive against the man, leaving our homes and children to the mercy of the corrupted society? The false one from the West which takes pride in wanton display of women and force men to push against self-restraint which fails in the long run and increases the rate of sexual abuse and molestation of women? The false one from the West that degrades a woman to an object of sexuality while fooling her to believe that more is respectable? The false one from the West that brings “us”, you and me, to the very root of animalism where we are nothing but bunches of clothed and yet naked beautiful and seductive skins?

Verily, Usaamah bn Zayd reported from the Prophet that he said “I have not left behind me any trial more harmful to men than women”, and so, these people want you to see yourself as incapable of stirring a man; but, where has that foolery led them? They actually disrespect and dishonor you, but, you know not!
The day you get it right is the day you understand the concept of the “Jilbab” that a Muslim woman adorns herself with, prides herself in, obeys her Lord in, protects her chastity and dignity with, protects the men and help them in obeying their Lords by lowering their gazes in, closes the door to temptation and unwanted cheap attention and compliments from stray men in… the Jilbab, my Jilbab, your Jilbab, our Jilbab… the clothing of the believing woman! Who still thinks it is freedom that makes a woman display herself to the world in chase of the glitters she may never get her hands on? Who still thinks that it is liberation that a woman peels off her clothing before the world and sells herself cheaply to even the most unworthy of buyers? Who still thinks it is a pride to compete with the man in exposing cleavages and making no heads turn? Who still thinks it is deserving of the noble woman to go out before the world without concealing her prized assets that she values above the turning of heads, passing of cheap comments and compliments, invitation to warm the filthy bed of some wandering lost man, and, keeping all of what is “valuable” to her and the lucky man who happens to be her husband in the most amazing of cloaks?

Does anyone of you ever struggles to have a glimpse of a diamond, struggles harder to get it in your possession, and then, leaves it out in the open for “anyone” to view? Does anyone ever put his most treasured belonging out in the open? Does anyone see a pearl in the middle of the road and pick it up to treasure it forever? Wouldn’t you doubt its authenticity?
Now, I tell you, the body of a believing woman is much more valuable than any prized valuable you can think of! They tell you to cover your “privates” because it is deserving to be “protected” from the hungry gazes of “others” and “a shame” to be revealed in public since it would only “tempt” some people into the most awful of craze, and, I tell you, your Lord knows that “all of you” is capable of causing temptation! All of you draws the attention of men! All of you! Every single part of you! And, you listen to them tell you it’s not worthy of being covered? That it is okay for you to expose yourself to them cheaply and freely? That it is deserving of your treasure to be out there in the open?
Up till this moment, by Allah, I regret every single day I have stepped out in the world without my Jilbab, I regret every single moment I have disrespected my body so much I put it out there in the free wandering gazes of men, every single moment I have seen someone smile and compliment me for looking in one particular way, every single moment I have spent out there without putting my treasures in the rightful place of protection… while I ensure that the assets that don’t even level up to this are locked behind the doors when I leave the house! SubhanaLlah! And, someone calls that primitive and shameful display of women who do not know their worth and allow men to disrespect them so as liberation? As freedom in this messed up generation of ours? Even Muslim women think this is so? Muslim women think it is restriction to use the Jilbab? You think it is an oppression that you are told how special you are as a person who is deserving of the honourable cloak of Islam?

Somebody said those who use the Jilbab by choice have grown to accept the subjugation of the womenfolk, thereby, making us see it as “the right way of life”, when in truth it is only another of the means of oppressing the women. And, I asked: would I suffer to use the Jilbab in ignorance? Did my Lord create me as a slave to the man to have ordered the Jilbab? Did I not realize how ugly it has been that I have continuously disrespected and oppressed my own self in the quest to satisfy the society that wouldn’t respect me except I do that?
Nobody forces anybody to use the Jilbab… okay, I know some women get forced to use the Jilbab, by their husbands or their fathers, and these are the ones who abuse the Jilbab! Why? They do not know the importance of it, they have not realized the security and pride it shows the world! And, I say, anyone who uses the Jilbab with sincerity will definitely be proud to always have it on, to always stay covered and away from the disrespectful lustful gazes of these strange and ignoble men of the world!
You know, it is all very simple: these people don’t want you to understand something, and here, let me tell you… they take delight in your exposing your body, they take pleasure in watching you, and so, they do not want you to cover it! These men lust after your body without feeling the need to seek your consent: why would they need your consent when you have already given them the absolute permission by showing it to all and sundry? Is that what you take pride in?

They know that they cannot steal from us this unparalleled covering, and so, they fool us to see it as an oppression, they force us to take to their ways and forget the reality. That is why you see Muslim women who will do anything to get the attention of these strange men. WalyazhubiLlah! And you know how much these “freedom” to uncover has contributed to the skyrocketing of the prevalence of rape in their places? Oh yes, keep fooling yourself… nothing justifies rape! Oh yes, I absolutely subscribe to that, but then, has that stopped or even reduced it any bit?
That is what they say to you, and you know, what they say to you is different from what they do to you: they tell you’re not just good for sex and they doll you all up and bring you out to satisfy the lusts of men where you are silently and actively telling them that you’re only good for sex. Ask yourself this: what passes a more accurate and well-understood message in this instance, the words of your mouths or the actions of your body?

Have you seen a veiled woman cringe at the thought of “unveiling” for a “prospective husband” before? I mean, this is just one man who wants to marry her! That one man needs her agreement and consent to see her face, because he wants to marry her! And still, the Muslim woman “fears” to “reveal” herself to this man. What could be a greater pride? It really amused me when I first heard about it, and, by Allah, I envied them! I’ve heard of a sister who “cried” when she unveiled for her husband-to-be; not one, not two… these are Muslim sisters who know the worth of their bodies and value it as Allah as valued us.
Would you still let the corrupt women of the 21st century and their men strip you of this honour? Would you still allow yourself to be fooled into thinking you’re only as good as how much skin you reveal to the world? Would you still be swayed by the wanton display in your environment and the whole world which has only led to more problems than ever solving them? Would you continue to disrespect the body that Allah treasures in a bid to satisfy the world and her gluttonous people who seek to reap from places where they especially don’t have to sow? The freedom that was “demanded” and fought for, is it to stay naked (who fights anyone to cover?) or to stay covered (who encourages a woman to leave the free market where oppression is painted as liberation to become noble?)

My beloved sisters in Islam, learn about Islam, learn about the Jilbab, learn about your own worth and dignity, learn about the respect that comes with the use of the Jilbab, learn about your identity as a Muslim woman and don’t let anybody take away that unrivalled honour from you… I beg you to know and understand that covering is indeed a pride and the real liberation! My Jilbab, your Jilbab, our Jilbab, the Jilbab… the greatest honour of any sane woman who knows the value of her body! May Allah grant us the ability to recognize the truth and submit to it: Aameen. May He make it easy for us to obey His commands and derive maximum benefits from it in the life of this world and the next: Aameen.

MY PRIDE IN SUBMISSION by Mubassirah Bint Solih

Sequel to that piece...
Does anyone remember the questions I ended the previous part (How Much I Hated Being a Woman) with?
If feminism is aimed at making women better and more self-confident, why has “man” being made the standard for measuring the power of a woman? After everything, have we (women) being able to find the equality we have been fighting decades for and derive joy in it? And, personally, how did I come to realize the truth about feminism so that I could stop hating my nature and appreciate it instead?
Feminism has gained so much popularity, especially among the womenfolk, in the last few decades, and well, many of us subscribe to some of their subtle ideologies, even if we don’t actually come out to proclaim that label before the world. We all know why that movement is selling so fast? It is because we are gullible and ignorant! These people know it, they know how much we love to “blind-follow”, seeing whatever comes from “there” without subjecting it to our mental assessment on the logical scale, so long as it appeals to our emotions.

On a neutral ground, let us subject the concept of feminism to a sincere analysis and see if our claims on it being to attain equality will come out true and praiseworthy.
I never researched the roots of feminism before deciding it was just the “home” I had long craved; it presented me a chance to fight against the cultural inequalities and rigid gender roles, which I grew up despising. However, I had to be quiet and nurse my ambition in silence, waiting for the time when I’ll finally be able to “confront” everyone about how evil their oppression was on the girl child.

The first time I came across the word “feminism” was in a book about rape. I had so much interest in sexual abuse and violence, because it was a menace that we were not allowed to discuss in “real life”, despite the fact that we could all see “some girl who got molested by some man”, and, I needed to know why it was just “us” who get to bear the hurt in silence. It felt really unfair that we couldn’t talk either, pretending that it was not actually happening right beside us. The depth of my hatred for men was what I lived on for more than 12 solid years; none of them could be trusted, not even my own family! There was no way I could share those thoughts with anyone around, so, I searched for answers in books, and yes, I eventually found it. Reading that first book helped me to understand the “animalistic” instincts in “men”, how much women have suffered for ages at the hands of men, and finally, it gave me the hope that “we” can all unite to put a stop to those “oppressions”, as our “foremothers” have fought their way through them in the past, paving the path for us. It was indeed beautiful to know that I wasn’t crazy after all: these were women who shared my dreams! We have to put men in their rightful place!

I started to nurture my dreams, and, I would never submit to any man, not even if my life depended on it! I found two of the websites that were exclusively for feminists and subscribed to them, so that I could actively follow everything and add my voice to make a “change”, in the virtual world. My life’s greatest goal was to stand up for every oppressed woman, and, in so doing, I had to see every man as a “potential molester”, who can only be subdued when we have “more” power. That was all I knew that got me started on that path…
Feminism began as a movement in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, in America, with her 1st wave having the major goal of overturning legal inequalities, focusing particularly on issues of women’s suffrage. The second wave targeted resolving cultural inequalities, gender norms, and roles of women in the society, in order to protect the dignity, intelligence and basic human potential of the female sex. On the sexuality and reproduction rights, feminists thrashed the “Miss America Pageant”, adjudging it as a quest to make women objects of beauty dominated by a patriarchy that fought to keep them in the homes or in dull low-paying jobs.

Martha Rampton, a professor of history and director of the center for Gender Equity at Pacific University, explained that the third wave of feminism, which I (and many of us in this generation) was introduced to, destabilized many constructs, including notions of “universal womanhood”, body, gender, sexuality and heteronormativity. An aspect of the third wave feminism that mystified the mothers of the earlier feminist movement was the re-adoption of the very lip-stick, high-heels, and cleavage proudly exposed by low cut necklines that the first two phases of the movement identified with male oppression.

This must be something a lot of us do not know: the current wave of feminism which prides in “wanton display” of females opposes the “ideal liberation” fought for by the people who pushed “feminism” to the forefront, which they believed was “objectifying the woman as a beauty”, and by extension “a sex symbol”. The very ideology we felt was beautiful, giving us “freedom” to appear to the world in whatever we wanted as men have, regardless of the differences there existed in our “anatomies” and “physiologies”. Martha Rampton continues to say that, indeed, the third wave feminism breaks boundaries, arguing that we do not need “feminism” anymore, as they pushed back against their “mothers” (with grudging gratitude) the way children push away from their parents in order to achieve the much needed independence. This wave supports equal rights, but does not have a term like feminism to articulate that notion.

At this point, I was going to say that the third wave of feminism combat the first two and subdued them, with the emergence of the fourth wave of feminism still being a captivating silhouette, but, Martha proceeds to say this is not so. In her words: “the second wave of feminism ought not to be characterized as having failed, nor was glitter all that it generated. Quite the contrary; many goals of the second wave were met: more women in positions of leadership, in higher education, business and politics, abortion rights, access to the pill that increased women’s control over their bodies, more expression and acceptance of female sexuality, general public awareness of the concept of and need for the “rights of women” (though not fully achieved), a solid academic field in feminism, gender and sexuality studies, greater access to education, organizations and legislation for the protection of battered women, women’s support groups and organizations (like NOW and AAUW; both of which I was a member of), an industry in the publication of books by and about women/feminism, public forums for the discussion of women’s rights, and a societal discourse at the popular level about women’s suppression, efforts for reform, and a critique of patriarchy…”
While we may have wanted to agree that the “goals” of the first and second wavers “made sense” and really sought to protect the rights of women, the actualization of these goals in the time of the fourth wavers prove it otherwise; having women in leadership positions, legalizing abortion, provision of pills that allows a woman to fornicate endlessly without fears of getting pregnant or seeing sex as a “duty” to the man rather than a “pleasure”, freedom to express and explore her “sexuality” without fears… the list is endless after all. So, where is the sense?
It is recognized that women are being cheated by men, and, we need to seek “liberation”. However, is this the liberation we need? This one pushed for through feminism?
I never had the luxury of weighing those options until I stopped being a feminist: I realized the hypocrisy along the way, I got tired of always living in competition with a demon I cannot even see, I accepted the truth of what I lacked and what I had, and, I learnt to appreciate those truths.

“Men are not your enemies as feminism presents it to you” was a thought that hit my mind one fateful day as I wondered how far is the time when I will be able to stand to the world and admit my beliefs to them without fear or shame, reflecting on how it is always “us” and “them”. I know a few really nice men outside of my family, but, my thought used to be that they all want one thing when they’re nice that way: lol, you know what.
Every single time I hear of a new rape case, my heart breaks and it feels like I have failed in my mission, and men are only being the animals they actually really are. Then, came that day I heard of the rape case of a young man… words cannot explain correctly how I felt that day. I had to go on Facebook and express my shock: of course, I had no “courage” using the word “feminism” since nobody around me was using it. Long story cut short, that was the incidence that brought me closest to the truth.
Learning about Sunnah really helped, not in a little way, because, only then did I get the full picture: this is where we ought have come from the very beginning! Islam is where we can get our full rights in the right ways, without having to risk anything. Dare I start on how much this liberty to showcase cleavages has destroyed our “protection” and furnished the very problem of sexual assaults which we seek to solve through feminism? We try to kill a demon by snatching its egg which will grow into an even more dangerous demon?

The truth always has its way with our hearts, such that, if you are really honest, you wouldn’t be able to deny it: that was just what happened with me. AlhamduliLlah. It was easy for me to get the relationship and unveil the truth I had stayed blinded to all along: feminism is a hoarse, the inconsistency in the values and goals is more than enough reason for us to question its credibility after all. Islam ensures legal equity, erases cultural inequality, clarifies gender norms, and ensure that you get the respect due to you as a woman, in every situation.
Feminism is no place for any sane woman to be: how could you enjoy being a pseudo-man when you can proudly be an awesome woman? Well, pseudo because you can never be a man no matter how hard you try; physically, socially, psychologically, emotionally. You may want to argue that you’re not trying to be a man, but, I’ll ask: when you take up the job of a man in an effort to show him that you can do it “too”, what is that you are doing? Cross-carpeting? It is high time we all searched deep within our souls to unlock the truth: feminism asks that we fight against “nature” and not just against “men”.

Nature is how Allah made it, nature is what made it “us” who will carry pregnancies and deliver babies, nature is what made it “us” who will be fitnah for “them” and need to be covered, nature is what made it “us” who are easily emotionally and thus need to have “them” as leaders, nature is what made it “them” who will work and foot the bills, nature is what made it “us” who need to be submissive to “them”. So, who is kidding who in seeking to establish “equality” that nature didn’t make?
It is Islam that teaches you to respect yourself, starting from honouring your body by concealing it from the gaze of every “interested” stray pair of eyes, then, admitting the weakness in the nature of men which necessitates the various rulings regarding intermingling, casual body contacts, listening to lewd music, watching movies, and the likes. It is Islam that teaches you to respect yourself by not taking up more than you can naturally handle as the “weaker” gender: now, that’s not a shame, is it? It used to be, but, not anymore! Now, I know better, and, I believe you know better too.
It means the world to me that Allah blessed me with the opportunity to really realize the truth before it was too late, so that I can take pride in my rightful place and fair distribution of roles laid down by nature, so that I can finally realize the beauty I had long ignored from among the beauties of being a woman, so that I can respect the place of a man as my rightful “protector”, so that I can stop the self-hate that radiated from the hypocrisy in my environment, so that I can accept the truth: that “evil does not have a gender” and, I can finally find my pride in submission.
In case you still doubt, feminism actually makes you question the “ordainments” of your Lord, which you are supposed to submit to without question. One of my most favorite verses of the Qur’an, which makes my mother now call me NFA and lazy, is: Q4:24, where Allah says, “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them excel the other, and, because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore, the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and their husbands)…”

Let me share the poem I wrote with this title; quite long ago though…
Nature… My Pride in Submission (Poem)
Living in competition with nature,
Like there's nothing greater in pleasure.
In a bid to achieve false equality,
We rise to challenge all that's worthy.
What a man can do, I believed,
A woman MUST do better!
Hot tears I shed when I lose to a man,
Feeling I had failed entirely as a woman!
Then came realization of my uniqueness,
Designated by my Lord, All-wise.
Reading stories of great men gone past,
Extolling the role of virtuous mothers!
Indeed, what greater honour to womanhood,
Than raising heroes from cradle?
Nay, we seek recognition in equality,
But we lose the natural respite offered in dignity!

Finally, my heart found peace,
Filled with pride upon knowing my true purpose.
And now I say, what a man can do,
With a woman, he does much better!
Allah says in Q24:51, “The only saying of the faithful believers, when they are called to Allah and His Messenger, to judge between them, is that they say: “We hear and we obey.” And such are the prosperous ones.”
May Allah make us from among the prosperous ones: Aameen.

RIGHT BESIDE YOU by Mubassirah Bint Solih

When you look around you, people are the most likely beings you’d see… maybe many familiar faces, a few unfamiliar and strange ones… maybe people you have at one point or the other exchanged a smile, a few words, a hug, a long chat, and maybe even much deeper and lengthier conversations… so many people with whom we have varying degrees of fondness and attachment are the people right beside us… those people right beside you…
We all have issues in our lives, unresolved conflicts, unattained goals, unachieved dreams, problematic friendships and relationships, we all have it… however, like I always say; we have different thresholds for pains, different reflex responses to pain, different defense and survival mechanism; we are all so different and can never go through the same amount of pain and suffering exactly the same way…
However, it is really sad that our phones and social media has further impeded us from really seeing those right beside us… we are much more concerned about our virtual family over the net and behind the screen, so much that those who really mean most to us and look forward to us always been there get less of our attention and feel unwanted. 

How often do you think about the problems in your life? Maybe less than you normally would if you did not have a phone, right? We get the chances to laugh away our problems once we establish a beautiful bond online and surf the net for various news and updates, but, do we pay any mind to the fact that for every minute we spend online, we are denying a person in our reality the chance to even have the courage to step up to us and try to discuss the events of their lives with us?
Yes, we’ve all got some things gone wrong, we’ve got events we’d rather forget we ever experienced, we’ve all got some ups and delicate downs that we long for ways to get out of their entangling grips and shackles… all of us, yes, and every individual walking the surface of the earth, without exemption of our loved ones.

Ever pondered extensively on why they call man a social animal?
We need one another… people in that virtual world also have people in their lives they probably are ignoring just to be with you too, or, maybe not… however, it is beautiful to be able to establish great friendships over the net, but, it is much more beautiful to be able to adequately manage both worlds without comprising the more vital of the two for the more pleasurable virtual one.
You are unique as your person, but, you are like every and any other person as human on many more levels; all people you deal with have feelings and emotions too, they have strengths and weaknesses too, they have dreams and aspirations too, they have goals and preferences too, they take steps and fall with wounds too… they are just like you in those many ways and more… they have needs, like you, for someone to listen to them without reservation or fear of judgement, they need someone who’d always just be there for and with them through the difficult steps and harsh blows of life, they need someone on whose shoulders they could rest and cry on without feeling shame at all, they need someone who’d hold their hands and tell them to keep their heads up high because they remind them that their Lord is ever-ready to forgive and welcome them, they need someone who’d always strive to keep them happy and conscious of Allah, they need you, just how you need them… invariably, we have forsaken so much of what is important, in chase of the abstract world that could as well be a lie, we have chosen to all live with false dreams and lead fake lives, immersed in that which does more than a little to destroy our dignity and religion, we have chosen to step up a bit and leave behind those that matter most to us.

It is really sad to admit that almost everyone has fallen victim of this… social media is our solace, it is our diary, it is our mouthpiece, it is our most trusted pal… social media remains one of the major means of increasing frustration in individuals’ lives and pushing them towards depression, before finally leading them to that wonderfully awful gate that will be closed by themselves on themselves to fall eternally into the pit of a blazing fire, yes, the menace that has suddenly grown like a rave and become the “easy way out” for most people… Suicide!
No matter what we say or do, no matter how many intellectual and moral reasons are provided for why we shouldn’t go near suicide or consider it an escape route, it will still only just continue to “make sense” without “making changes” if we still continue to live and lead our lives this way.

Is there a way someone who is considering suicide wouldn’t have some fears and anxieties? No, there isn’t… pains blind us so much to the truth that all of the light in our eyes seek for a hole to crawl out through… now, we all have cool great friends, people other people identify us with, people we’re supposedly super cool with, right? Hmm… there are a number of people who actually don’t, “awon solo gang”, yeah, life has taught them to be just enough for themselves without seeking understanding or acceptance from anyone, propelling themselves as self-sufficient and in no need of any other person. It becomes our responsibility to help this category of people out of their shells too, teaching them to trust in friendships and relationships… but, how do we do that? When we have people who are great sociable people with quite a handful of close pals and associate commit suicide without anyone of these people suspecting anything? Why? Because friendship has been established as fake in the first place: we call ourselves friends but cannot trust one another, we bottle our emotions and clutch them desperately to our hearts, we cannot let our guards down before anyone, we feel people should only see smiles on our faces and never know that we are humans who feel down and shed tears too… how much worse could the plight get?

Depression is real; we all know this, yes, and, how have we been trying to help this situation? Help people out of their depression aside posting “suicide is not an option” everywhere? How are we trying to prevent people from getting depressed? How have we actively encouraged the  people suffering right beside us to continue fighting and living with their battles to succeed in the end? How many of us actually make time out for our loved ones? Even without anything “important” to discuss, just sitting together, making jokes, reminding ourselves of Allah and His promise of Jannah, reminding ourselves of His assurance of rewards for the servant who remains firm and patient upon trials in this world, reminding ourselves of the verse “verily, after hardship comes ease”, reminding ourselves that bad and tough times wouldn’t last forever, reminding ourselves of the magnificent view that await us in the end… how many of us will actually pick up the phone and put a call through to our “significant others” who are not too close by? How many of us will actually smile whenever we see a troubled friend or family of ours? How many us ever try to help our “significant others” to talk to us about even their innermost and deeply buried fears and insecurities without any fear of judgement or mockery or lack of confidentiality?
We tend to give a lot to distant people, establishing closer bonds with them and forgetting our real and most guaranteed affiliations… we worry so much about appearing “uncaring” to people other than those we truly sincerely love, we forget these people more often than not, we smile at distant uncertainties and refuse to see the tears shed right beside us…

Depression is on an alarming increase; a group assignment I had to present revealed such alarming reality (WHO submitted that over 300million people are living with depression; 80,000 people commit suicide annually, and that amount is just about 20% of those who actually attempt suicide yearly)…how will a person be able to go through with suicide if the people who really matter had really tried to matter for real? If nothing else, he would definitely have let something about his pain or his lack of will and strength to go on with the fight, he definitely would have let someone in on those plans of his, and, if nothing else, that person would have been able to help him in so many different ways; but, now, what do we have? Everybody is an advocate against suicide and depression only over social media! Yes, that’s why you will wake up to the shocking news of a suicide case involving a very close friend/family with whom you had only just talked and talked till probably late hours into the previous night, maybe someone who is always sharing posts and write-ups about why and how we have to hold on to the rope of hope and life and never give up on the mercy of our Lord… the most unexpected people have committed suicide and left the world without a chance to return and atone for their mistakes: death marks the end of available options at making corrections or amendments! There is only one path after the soul departs from a body: that which leads to judgement before the final destination (one out of two) is assigned to one… now, think about it: is suicide really an escape?

Right beside you, someone is tired of the challenges life keeps throwing at him and is contemplating giving it all up, expecting (probably subconsciously and without even admitting to himself that) someone should see the inner pains, sufferings and struggles, and even if they wouldn’t be able to help, they should just be able to remind them of the promise of hope and light at some end of the tunnel, that they should just come out and hug them tight and tell them to  remain faithful and trusting of the unknown which hides a more beautiful chance at life… however, where are those people right beside you? What do you “know” (not think) is going on in their lives? How do you know they are handling it? How do you know they are holding onto the rope of hope and trust that it will all be over someday and they’re gonna be okay? How do you know they are not even fed up of dealing with their problems and having to force themselves to keep smiling so you wouldn’t see the pains and tears they have carefully kept buried and don’t want the world (including you who happen to right beside them; subhanaLlah!) to see? How much do you honestly know and care about these people who are right beside you? How much do you care?

AT-TAWHEED: ONENESS OF ALLAH by AbdulGaffar Muhammed

In the name of Allah, the most beneficient, the most merciful
Tawheed is one of the pillars a true Muslim should hold firmly to, as it is contained in the first pillar of Islam as narrated in one of the Hadiths of the Prophet (peace be upon him): On the authority of Abdullahi, son of Umar (may Allah be pleased with them) that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “(The superstructure of) Al-Islam is raised on five (pillars), i.e the oneness of Allah, the establishment of Prayer, payment of Zakat, the fast of Ramadan, the Pilgrimage (to Mecca)”. Sahih Muslim

The oneness of Allah mentioned in the above Hadith simply means that Allah alone should be worshipped, and (all other gods) beside Him should be denied and rejected. We should not associate other gods with Allah because He is one; He has no partner or deputy. Quran Chapter 112 verse 1-4 says: “Say, “He is Allah, (who is) one, Allah the Eternal Refuge, He neither begets nor is begotten, And there is none comparable unto Him.”

Tawheed (oneness of Allah) is divided into three types, which are:
Tawheed al-Uloohiyyah
Tawheed ar-Ruboobiyyah
Tawheed al-Asmaa was-Sifaat

Tawheed al-Uloohiyyah:
This is giving and ascribing to Almighty Allah alone all kinds of ‘Ibadah’ (worship) whether done in public or in private in words and deeds, as well as denying ‘Ibadah’ (worship) to any other but Allah; whoever that may be. Allah said: “And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him” Q17:23.

It is singling out Allah with worship so that none besides Him is worshipped, so that none besides Him is called upon, so that no one is sought for rescue, or aid except Him. So that no one is sacrificed to or slaughtered for or made an oath for, except Allah alone.
Allah said: “Verily! I am Allah (none has the right to be worshipped but I, so worship me, and perform As-Salat (for my remembrance)” Q20:14. Allah said: “Worship Allah and join none with Him in worship” Q4:36. Allah said: “Say, Indeed, my prayer, my rites of sacrifice, my living and my dying are for Allah, Lord of the worlds” Q6:162.

Tawheed ar-Ruboobiyyah:
It is the firm belief that Allah is the Lord of everything; He is the King, the Creator and the one who directs and controls them. That He has no partner in His Domain, that no one can question His judgement, that no one can oppose Him, that no one is equal to Him. Almighty Allah said: “Lord of the heavens and the earth, and all that is between them, so worship Him (Alone) and be constant and patient in His worship. Do you know of any who is similar to Him? (of course none is similar or co-equal or comparable to Him, and He has none as partner with Him). (There is nothing like unto Him and He is the All-Hearer, the All-Seer)” Q19:65.
Tawheed ar-Ruboobiyyah is singling out Allah the Exalted with (the actions of) creation, providing sustenance, giving life, causing death, and all of the types of regulation and administration of the heavens and the earth, and (also) singling Him out, the Exalted, with (the right to) judgement and legislation and sending of the messengers and revealing of books. Almighty Allah says in Suratu-r-Ruum “Allah is He who created you, then provided food for you, then will cause you to die, then (again) He will give you life (on the Day of Resurrection). Is there any of your (so-called) partners (of Allah) that do anything of that? Glory is to Him! And Exalted is He above all that (evil) they associate (with him)” Q30 verse 40. Allah said: “All praises and thanks are to Allah, who (alone) created the heavens and the earth, and originated the darkness and the light” Q6:1.

Tawheed al-Asmaa was-Sifaat:
This is the belief in what Allah has attributed to Himself in His Book. And what His Messenger (peace be upon him) described Him with. These Attributes are the Most Beautiful Names of Allah and the Highest Attributes. Belief in such should be without having to ask ‘how’. Allah said: “There is nothing like Him; and He is the All-Hearer, the All-Seer” Q42:11. Allah said: “No vision can grasp Him, but He Grasps all vision. He is Al-Lateef (the Most Subtle and Courteous), Well-Acquainted with all things” Q6:103.

It is describing Allah the Most High and naming Him with whatever he described and named Himself with and with whatever His Messenger (peace be upon him) described and named Him with in the authentic narrations and to affirm that for Allah without resemblance (to the creation) or likening (to the creation) and without (false) interpretation (of any of that) or negation (of any of that). There is nothing like Him and He is the All-Hearer, the All-Seer. Allah said: “Say (O Muhammed (peace be upon him)) “Invoke Allah or invoke the Most Gracious (Allah), by whatever name you invoke Him (it is the same), for to Him belong the Best Names” Q17:110. Allah said: “He is Allah, other than whom there is no deity, Knower of the unseen and the witnessed. He is the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful. He is Allah, other than whom there is no deity, the Sovereign, the Pure, the Perfection, the Bestower of Faith, the Overseer, the Exalted in Might, the Compeller, the Superior. Exalted is Allah above whatever they associate with Him. He is Allah, the Creator, the Inventor, the Fashioner; to Him belong the best names. Whatever is in the heavens and earth is exalting Him. And He is the Exalted in Might, the Wise.” Q59:22-24.

In Conclusion, all the types of Tawheed (Oneness of Allah) are strongly attached to each other in such a way that what negates one negates all. Whosoever disbelieves in one automatically disbelieves in others. The example of that is calling other than Allah and asking him to do what only Allah can do. Thus, calling other than Allah is association in ‘Uloohiyah’, and asking others to supply a need, such as bringing goodness or pushing evil away, thinking that the called is able to do that is association of ‘Ruboobiyyah’. Allah said: “Verily, whosoever sets up partners (in worship) with Allah, then Allah has forbidden Paradise to him, and the Fire will be his abode” Q5:72. 

TEACH BEFORE CONDEMNING by Mubassirah Bint Solih

Neither of the two concepts is strange or requiring clarification; we must have all used those words at one point or the other.

It is no news that we all find it extremely easy to show our disdain for other people’s actions, speech, or even their persons in total. We hardly ever show restrain in condemning what we “feel” is inappropriate, unacceptable, wrong, or just not pleasing to us.
Condemnation has really become extremely popular due to the fact that many of us don’t understand the difference condemnation and correction. Funny enough, most of us opt for “constructive criticism” while not understanding any bit of what actually makes a criticism constructive.
Correction is to inform someone of their errors, while, condemnation is to scold sharply, to adjudge as unfit or of poor quality, invalid, unreliable, immoral, or illegal; with synonym being the word damnation. While correction is done with obvious good manners in order to invite someone to goodness by making them aware of their errors, condemnation on the other hand seeks to belittle and malign the individual (or object) by elaborating such faults (which is no longer seen as error, as it is believed during correction that the person is involved in that incorrect behavior due to ignorance).
I believe it is now clear to us the difference between correcting and condemning…
The manner in which our words are spoken/written, as well what those words exactly are, are both important factors in determining whether or not we are correcting or condemning. It is essential that we bear it in mind in both instances that what we want is to actually influence the other person towards making positive changes, so that we may have rewards for wanting better for our fellow human and making the world better for humanity as a whole.
Then, everybody is deserving of excuses: before you conclude on anything based on your observations from one or more things from a particular person, try to analyze all possible good reasons they may have to do such, as this will help you to keep them in a good light while you offer your correction.

Now, correction could be said to be a form of teaching: yes, letting someone know what (you believe) they do not know or reminding them what they have forgotten, in order to make them aware of their errors, which will then drive them willfully towards making corrective changes. Teaching is to correct/prevent the evils of ignorance, isn’t it? And, that is just what correction seeks to do!
Now, if we have offered correction countless times, and we are sure there is no restricting factor or circumstance that could be “forcing” the other person towards keeping up the attitudes or traits we have warned against, then, that is the only time we are allowed to give our constructive criticism, or outright condemnation for their heedlessness: note, this is also with a good mind, with hopes that the condemnation would push them towards retracing their steps in order to get back in the good books of people. Yes, you may not want to agree, but, there are times when condemnation is the best shot and option to correct a particular person/group/situations. All it requires is that we have adequate knowledge of the person(s) and situation(s) before opting for whichever.
Correction is done in secret, usually, because it saves the one who is being corrected from losing face before others (which might as well be a reason, though unworthy, for such individual to remain stubborn and heedless upon their errors, because they do not want to be ridiculed or mocked by other people who were present: truth is, nobody wants to be made a laughing stock, or showcased as an ignorant, but, it is just as true that nobody knows it all, and, at one point or the other, we will make mistakes and require correction), and with good words that soothe the heart of the one whose fault is being exposed to him, so that it is easy for him to humbly admit such faults and seek to make amends in whatever way possible. After this fails to yield positive change, and, for the love we have for such individual, we may approach person(s) we believe are closer and more respectable to the individual, still in good manners, to address the issue as well.

On the other hand, condemnation comes after several secret corrections and acquaintance counsels have been attempted and the individual chooses to remain heedless upon his manifest (or even latent) errors, in order to make the people he is trying to impress (by not admitting he is human who is susceptible to errors and making corrections) fully aware of his heedlessness upon wrong, so that they are aware of this fact and the individual is then forced to change his stance and admit his fault in order to regain his dignity and respect from the people, who would also start seeing him as an heedless and prideful individual who finds it difficult to admit his faults or make the corrections known.
Upon clarifying the relationship between the three beautiful concept, we may then ask: do we ever try to teach and correct before we condemn others? Take the instance of a lady (well, because, it is relatively more rampant among the womenfolk) who becomes aware of a specific pitfall of another, and then, in another situation hears people praising the other lady like she is faultless. Sure, your guess is as good as any: she would take pride in narrating that one shortcoming she knows about her in order to taint her image and lower the love and respect the other ladies have for her. It becomes a worse case when none of these people who have been informed sees it necessary to approach the lady in question in a good manner in order to confirm her side of the story, or understand the reason behind whatever evil it is they have become aware of, but rather, they take further pride in spreading such information about her, until, Allah saves us from such, her reputation is totally soiled before all people.

How many at times do we seek to confirm information before passing them around, yes, especially derogatory ones? How many times in many do we even think of giving this person an excuse as we would want to be done to us, before we pass a judgment on them for being bad?
It is rather common on our campuses… a friend told you that she lost her money and doesn’t have a penny to eat it. God so good, you had some change to spare, so, you gave her. Few minutes later, you saw her at a boutique purchasing some classy wears. Then, you shake your head and think “I’ve always suspected her to be a liar!” With no delay, the poor lady has been condemned with the badge of a liar, and, God help her if she ever tries to deny the allegation! You get to your circle of friends and narrate the story and they all agree to your assumption. Wow! None of you could even imagine that she was probably sent by someone? Or, there was an important reason for her to have done such? And, none of you could approach her in a good manner to hear her side of the story? Heaven help her if she ever opens her mouth to ask you for money again, or, a sum of money gets missing in your hostel: she is the prime suspect! SubhanaLlah! This is really so disheartening… we shouldn’t be doing this to one another!
There is another instance: Lady A told lady B that this lady C is a runs-girl, lady B claimed to not believe, so, lady A tells her to meet her a place A at time A, and, she agrees. True to their arrangement, they met there and saw lady C entering a car and getting driven off. Lady B claps her hand and exclaim “Hey! So, it is true! Wonders shall never end! And she will forming ‘na me holy pass’. At that, lady A shakes her head with a “I told you” look. Woe betide that young lady the next time she tries to advise them on sexual purity or any such, if at all they did not even turn their “realization” to the hottest story on campus. You may think: that is an obvious case nah. Really? you do not think the owner of that car may be her father? Or brother? Or even a female friend? Even if at all Lady A’s assumption was right, couldn’t she have called lady C’s attention to it and asked politely the reason she is engaging in such, so they could if they could be of help in changing her for the better? Isn’t that correction? Isn’t that what is beneficial to be done? What does their condemnation and story telling benefit anyone?
It is high time we realize our purpose in this life and get serious with it, sisters. When you notice anything wrong in anyone, try to call their attention to it a polite and good manner, and, help them to understand their faults in a polite manner still if they are wrong, and, help them to seek redemption in an instance where such is required. If you feel you are not in a position to talk to them, meet someone you know is in a better position to do that. If that is equally not feasible, then, keep quiet about it if it is not an evil that encompasses others. Plus, if you cannot talk to a person objectively about their shortcomings, how then will be in a position to condemn them for it? And, what you do, please be objective in it, do it with a good mind and with sincere intentions, to help that other person for the sake of Allah.

All these condemnation and thinking/speaking ill of one another is totally uncalled for… all the “kinni? As if we don’t know what she does under the cover of the night too…” and other similar lines are really not what is expected of a Muslimah.
May Allah ease our affairs and overlook our shortcomings: aameen.
Special thanks and love to the wonderful sister who chose this topic for us. I love you, sis. And, jazaakumuLlahu khayran.